Children need the best possible relationship with both parents, both parents participate in child development is important for a child's emotional health now and in the future. This is not a problem for children born in happy marriages. But what about the children living with a single (divorced) parent? For such situations, researchers have suggested a dynamic parenting plan.
Child's needs
It is essential that we should understand the child's needs during the development until he was old enough to start an independent life. These needs are related to housing, day care, health, education, extracurricular activities, religious purposes. The plan takes into account all areas of life and detail how it provides opportunities to meet the wishes of both parents. If one of the parents' lack of knowledge, skills and abilities to fulfill the plan, the plan may include psychotherapy. The basic starting point is that parents are willing and ready to do whatever is necessary to meet the child's needs. Parents will have to adapt to different stages of child development and the plan will change over time, therefore, must be dynamic.
In infants is usually greater responsibility on one parent to day care of the child. However, both parents should be given the opportunity to create a relationship with a child. As children grow, gradually more and more exposed to the outside world. If possible, it is always better if both parents share the duties around the child rather than take a whole seeing an exact day of the week. With this approach every parent with a child spends time in different ways, contributing to a better and more natural parent - child relationship.
No hard feelings
Parent's room with a child is determined by the tasks and the child's age. As the school requirements, it is possible that one parent to spend more time in facilitating mathematics, the other about grammar. The key is to develop a meaningful parenting plan with clear objectives and structured activities, with the intention of the child with the most possible in certain stages of life. A close relationship with the child's best set of typical daily activities.
Another benefit of sharing responsibilities and obligations in implementing the plan is that it reduces the possibility that one parent gets strict guardian role, while the other parent makes a fairy tale. For the children stay with both parents income if their needs are respected and parenting skills. Moreover, dividing the duties requirements are reduced separately, which means both parents to less stress.
Continuous involvement of both parents in the child's life largely determines how it will accept the leadership of parents during adolescence. It's pretty strong opinion that the more teenagers affect their opinion of their peers than their parents. But this is only true for teenagers who have poorly developed relationships with parents.Parents who are in a child's early age to establish good and strong relationships usually have much more influence on him during puberty than his peers. The involvement of parents just at that age will determine the depth of relationship with the child and provide the foundation for the future relations, and general welfare of the child. Make it a dynamic quality of parenting plan and respect the child's growth over the years, chances are that both parents are dancing on the child's wedding and later enjoy the grandchildren.
It is clear that this approach can be applied only parents who are able to overlook their differences and move away from mutual anger. This is necessary for the welfare of children. The worst thing a parent can make your child is to turn it against the other parent.
Alienation syndrome
Parental alienation syndrome was first described by psychiatrist Richard Gardner 1985th year. The team's Syndrome describes the behavior of children of divorced parents who refuse to seeing and talking with the parent they do not live because of the influence which the parent is assigned to which they live. Parental alienation syndrome diagnosis is set for a child who shows a behavior is caused by the alienation of parents and that further disturb the relationship with the parent they do not live.
Parental alienation syndrome, parental alienation, and destructive phenomena of the child's social and family development. They are characterized by the manipulation of a child by one parent and is actually a form of psychological abuse. The goal is to reduce the alienation of parents, to limit or completely abolish the role and impact of parent with whom the child lives. The motives for such behavior may be different from revenge to the financial gain. How will manifest alienation and parental alienation syndrome, parental, dependent on the parent-caregiver and how to intervene in the relationship and the child's other parent, usually with the justification that takes care of the child's safety. Here are most often cited concerns about the moral values of the other parent, lack of child care, and the alleged abuse. Most often these concerns are justified and are usually small differences between parents extremely exaggerated. It is then anger, annoyance, or unfortunately estranged parents used against him in favor of a parent who encourages alienation.
Through the Child
Parents who encourage alienation are generally convinced of the correctness of their actions to justify the time they themselves have to worry about the child (in extreme cases do not accept proposals to change our own behavior). Usually have the support of friends, lawyers and doctors who support their engagements alienating behavior. Experts thus warn friends, lawyers and doctors do not take any side in the determination of the custody of the child. It is recommended to take a neutral position, and is justified only expressing concern about the child's welfare.
Does your child spends a lot of fun in the company of parents with non-residential, to further prove that the alleged concerns about the child's safety are unfounded. If a child has difficulty in adjusting, it is a psychotherapist help. Psychotherapy is essential for the alienated parent, because it helps hold the child's eventual rejection, as well as better understanding of the child's loyalty to the parent-guardian.
In psychotherapy, the child should be emphasizing the positive features of the alienated parent change the child's negative beliefs. Terms seeing the child and the parent does not live with what should be a court, if a parent-guardian fails to comply, he should be punished appropriately.
Children who are exposed to a long estrangement of parents are losing the opportunity to establish healthy relationships with parents, which is the basis of their social and family relationships. Proper understanding of the problem, its identification and timely intervention can facilitate and reduce the emotional stress that a child goes through the divorce of parents.
Advice for alienated parents
If you are in a situation where your ex-spouse is away and alienates the child from you, you probably are experiencing one of the worst and most painful life experiences. Keep in mind that this process is very difficult to go back, so do not hesitate to seek psychotherapeutic help, for yourself and the baby. In addition, one should know the following:
• Do not avenge yourselves parent-caregiver gossip
• Do not give up their children
• with the help of an attorney make sure the time with their children
• Do the children lose control of behavior
• Do not use children as a source of information
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