Today we distinguish impolzivan and explosive anger.
The explosive rage showed that they react to every little thing, are prone to noisy debates, nervousness, frequent scenes ... This anger manifests itself violently, short, and leaves no consequences.
Impolzivan anger is less common but because he remembers the long and the consequences can be dangerous and frightening. Those who exhibit it in their daily lives give the impression of a calm and composed person.However, when a "burst", fully justifying the saying: "Beware the wrath of patient man."
However, before a behavior your child is defined as an explosive, hysterical, aggressive ... consider whether it is just so, or maybe just another stage in its development?
In fact, many parents think that when a child with less than a year throwing toys all around and each time asked of them to reach for the same toy that's what threw back ... that the first sure signs of future agresivnca.However, this 'game' is quite common for this age group. It is similar with a slightly later age, between 2 and 3when a child is slowly conquering the social space. It is now known that certain words cause different reactions of adults. It manages to provoke their parents use these words (usually NEĆU and other expressions of rejection or defiance, and in late life and a little swearing) and also checks the boundaries that he set, what is allowed and what is not and why, what happens when it violates the agreement to not use the word ... So, again no sign of aggression.
However, already in pre-school age, many children go through different stages of anger, ie. aggression. It is cast by the shops if you buy them chocolate, break into hysterical attacks of crying or screaming whatever they reject. They have learned and have in your experience that you will eventually give in if they remain persistent.Because this is their behavior apply to anything they want. Clearly, the parents give in because it's much easier (for example, to provide what the child wants) rather than endure another scene agresivca small. However, once you give in, like temper tantrums can be expected very often. They will be repeated in various situations both in public places and in familiar surroundings. As long indulge the child to use, more accurately, been exploited. As if you gave him the green light to do them in the future, your child has found a means of achieving any of its goal.
For most children give results simply ignore an attack of rage. Tell the child: "I can not hear you, it bothers me when are you yelling so hard. I will now go into another room and come back when you calm down. Then we will be able to discuss and agree on everything. "It is important to remain consistent with this. Go to another room, cope, and be sure that if not before, when it gets tired of the madness stop.
That is why shouting and spanking are generally counterproductive methods (screaming child can be understood as a competition, who will be more to annoy anyone who has more nerve, who would be louder ...) and spanking can act in one situation but not any educational tool for future similar situations. On the contrary, physical punishment deepens misunderstanding between you and deteta.Ono you can try is:
· In the period pre-focus on training the child's concentration. Common stacking puzzle game, or play with clay, plasticine ... can lead to a negative energy accumulated itself on the right way, and to also exercise care, develop motor skills, coordination of movement ...
· Team sports will enable the child to be physically depleted, but also to practice social communication with peers. If that does not respond, try the common physical activities to channel the child's repressed emotions and anxiety, while strengthening your relationship (walk together, ride a bike ...) In addition, remember that it is far more important than the physical activity itself as the major results or competition .
· Limit TV viewing because it is often just content that children see on TV in the main trigger aggressiveness.They are especially undesirable action, horror and science fiction films. For violent content (which are so Odomaćeni them we are not even aware of), children respond by themselves are becoming more aggressive, adopting positions that use aggression to solve conflicts, and are less sensitive to real violence in their environment.
· Think about the demands of their child. Be especially careful that your son does not litter the prejudices and expectations related to their sex (do not tell your son that men must be strong, courageous and large, boys do not cry ...), it is no accident that boys are just prone to aggressive behavior.
· Set a good example. Solve conflicts by talking and arguments. Of course, always keep in mind that "because I said so" - no argument.
· Give your child small tasks to osećcalo important and useful to you
· Do not by your child ever require unconditional obedience. Feelings that may freely express their opinions and to disagree with you is key to developing a positive self image. Children grow up and build their personality, inter alia, by opposing their parents. On the other hand, when you feel impotent and fail in others, socially acceptable ways to show they are different (eg, using clothing, jargon, ways of life) violence is sometimes the only option left to show their diversity.
· Play with your child changing roles. For example: "Now let's play a little shopping, you're a mom and you want the house and I was a child and want to stay in the park, immediately, I will now, immediately, aaaaaaaaaaaaa" imitate a child, change your voice, make the effort to annoy him as much how it usually annoy you, and always use the actual situation in your life.
· In a similar way as changing the role, work and children's theater. When playing a positive character, a child can imagine that the only positive that helps him overcome his problems and boost self-confidence. When himself as a villain, he is allowed expression of violence - in a way that is highly respected by the actors. (Which is more convincing, more plays)
· Praise your child each time instead of aggressively trying to persuade you into a little argument. Also, when you see it nervously, trying to deal only with him, that he was about something .... hard to hug him.
Perhaps at first glance, it seems strange, but that isitnito agresivci have little confidence. So they made space for themselves where they feel "major" and powerful, with themselves as winners. Do they need this at home because they are harassed by an older brother or suffer because of divorce or are enrolled in school you did not want ... just push their own problems by imposing their will their peers.
In certain situations: If you are aggressive toward other children your child: Insist that your child solve problems only. Keep up to date, so they can jump in if needed but only a first try. Stir only if there is a physical calculation.
If your child is aggressive toward others, the worst thing you can do is to deny the problem and believe that all such children. Instead, make the effort and time to talk a lot, make the child different ways of resolving conflict.When recognized, or surmise that the child's manifest aggression, try to prevent, avoid, turn his attention. Do not forget that his aggressive child often wants to draw attention to themselves. So never give up, and wait for this behavior disappears by itself.
Finally, if your child always comes in different conflict situations pay attention to his peers, that is. whether his comrades initiate a variety of problems. Namely, when it comes to a physical calculation is often the most disturbing "arena", that observers who passively encouraged the violence, which is a form of aggression, too.When the audience would not be present, it is certain that many children tried in a different way to resolve their mutual conflicts. Namely, it is important to remember that children are not born aggressive, selfish, spoiled ... It became such. Sometimes the aggression of their peers and sometimes amplified roidtelji. That's why it was necessary to make your relationship with your children is based on trust and understand the, you know your child and you have constant access to his interests, needs, its environment. That is, to grow up together.
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