Brothers and sisters, the war in the house!

Father, again in my room and take my stuff! ',' 

Mother, I do not want to leave my doll! ',' I am the first! I am first! '

You sound like some of these statements sound familiar? If you have more than one child, the answer is probably yes. These are common examples of rivalry between brothers and sisters.

Why does this rivalry and how to enter a conciliatory spirit and harmony among the children?

Can be useful rivalry?

Conflicts between brothers and sisters are not unique to humans. They occur in almost all animal species in which to raise more offspring at a time.

Although most children do not have to struggle for basic needs like food or shelter, other effects of sibling rivalry can be useful in the long run. For example, dealing with disagreements and evidence can help in the acquisition of several important skills, such as:

· Respect for other people's opinions

· Compromise and negotiation

· Control of aggressive impulses

As much as rivalry was useful in learning these skills, your family still needs to tolerate only a certain amount of conflict, where you can help in keeping the relationship under control. To do this, you need a good understanding of the many factors that influence the frequency and severity of disputes between brothers and sisters.

Why are my children are fighting?

Most brothers and sisters going through a phase of jealousy and competitiveness, which can turn into contention and strife that we call brotherly rivalry. Factors that may affect the frequency of conflict situations and their severity include:

INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERISTICS

The family structure is only part of the picture. Conflicts between brothers and sisters were partly caused by the character of each child in the family, so if one or more of them:

· Confusing

· Quickly saturate things

· Tense

· Easily disappointed

In addition, children who have certain weaknesses in the development of specific skills such as speech, lack of concentration or social interaction is most likely to have more friction and a brother or sister.

Family functioning

Recent research suggests that the way the family works may affect the rivalry between the brothers and sisters.These studies show that by the rivalries tend to occur in families in which:

· Parents are finding ways to solve daily problems and disputes in a manner that is respectful, productive and not aggressive

· There is a general set of rules or agreements that physical aggression and speaking simple words unacceptable

· Family members often participate in joint activities that are fun for all members

The relationship of brothers and sisters can be a barometer of the degree of family harmony. Rivalry can be reduced by improving family functioning without friction.

Television and movies

Research shows that exposure to violent television and movie content increases the risk of aggressive behavior among children. This is particularly true in cases where the child is in itself prone to aggression.

There is also research on how television and movies portray relationships between sisters and brothers. In this study concludes that, especially in children's shows and movies, fraternal rivalry and contempt become the norm. With this in mind, the children would be good to reduce violent and aggressive programs. If you still see them, watch them and talk with them about what is shown.

You can also help them to learn to understand the consequences of violence in real life and to reflect on how that would be a problem seen on television could be solved non-violently.

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