How to be a good parent?

"You'll get the butt!" - You can use instead of the word or, worse yet, the application of these penalties? 

To raise a child is not easy, and they know people with no children, but only as a parent, you will meet with a number of concerns, many of which are related to the education and discipline of the child. Every parent will meet with the moments in which the child must be punished for inappropriate behavior, and some parents in these situations cope better than others.

In our country, and around the world, beating, or to relieve a little - "giving the butt," are still accepted way of punishment. But even a slight benefit on the butt may have negative consequences for the child. Studies have shown that "spanking" children learn to be aggressive and violent, and this in turn may adversely affect the future of the child and the professional and social relationships with other people.

So the question is what could be done in such situations ... There are several successful alternatives to punishment beatings:

First Try to avoid sudden own, nervous and irrational outbursts. Every time your child is to refine the edge of tolerance and do not know what else he has to "give a little on the butt," take a deep breath and try to relax, no matter how hard it seemed. A child should never be punished "hot" head when you are still angry about what the child. Do this only when you calm down. Think about their feelings and why you so easily throw out of line, so that the two or three years of a child can do it. Think of how much he adores her child, and that he does not want to punish the clubs, but you decide for something appropriate.

Second Give the child time to calm down. The child will not experience it properly if it is still in the "element". Also, give your child a chance to explain why he made that was made. Understand the reason for his behavior. Once you learn it you may find that the child erred only because no one knew exactly what was expected in a given situation. Then he needs your guidance, not necessarily punishment.

3rd Make sure to give your child a choice. Give him the choice of options or alternatives between what he wants and what he should do. Studies have shown that children who had been given the choice would listen, and then became more mature people better and easier to make decisions in life. The key is to let them know that there is an alternative to "giving the butt."

4th Talk regularly with your child. Communication is always a two-way mechanism. Talk to your child and allow them to show feelings and thoughts in different situations and different things. Explanations and justifications should be the initial approach, focusing on the problem behavior, not the child directly. I always criticize the behavior, not the child alone. Do not tell him it's naughty, naughty or bad, but you do not like his behavior in a given situation. Explain to him why his behavior was wrong and what should be done next time a similar situation. It is a behavior that you want. Too often we are only saying that children should not and can not explain them, or what they should do zaprvo or how to behave.

5th Reward your child for positive behavior, though not things, but the words and hugs. A child should always know that the parents love it - and when it's good, and when he playfully. Praise good behavior and polite attitude. That'll show them that you respect their effort and will help them develop samopouzdanje.Ovo will motivate your child to behave better, and to help them to feel more comfortable in your own skin. Beloved child is confident and secure, and much less often test the boundaries of parental patience.

6th Set clear rules and boundaries of behavior that the child not be crossed. It also needs to know and what to expect if they break the agreement. Make sure that the rules are clear child at a time (you can not devise rules on the fly). Be consistent and unique as the child needs to know that both parents have the same attitude.

What if your child is still unruly and get into a situation where you have to be punished. What do you do?



There are alternatives to discipline a child without corporal punishment:

First Time out! This is a very common method used to child had had time to think about what he did. Sit the child somewhere in the neutral and "boring" area, where no disturbance can calm down and realize that what he did was really wrong. This, if applied from early childhood, can be a very effective punishment.

Second The ban dates. Especially when it comes to older children, limit exits as punishment is a great way to teach them that they are responsible for their bad behavior that will reflect negatively on them. This will help reduce the chance of repeat bad behavior.

3rd Denial of privileges. Another good punishment for all ages of children. Younger can ban them watch their favorite cartoons or playing favorite toy, the older limit the use of computers or cell phones.

4th Indemnity. Many experts suggest that a sentence with a direct link to the consequences, and to allow the children ways to "reduce" their punishment. For younger children, it may be detailed to the cleaning up his room, and for bigger kids can include a variety of activities around the house - cleaning the garage or basement, utility room thoroughly clean, wash all the windows ... Some parents of children will reduce the penalty if you have to write a detailed essay about why what they did is unacceptable conduct and a plan on how this behavior will not happen again.