The struggle for power of parents and children
The most common source of frustration in the parent - child relationship is certainly related to the struggle for power. Would you wear this dress, whether to stay awake for 10 minutes, whether to eat or not, whether to go to kindergarten or not, will look a little more like a cartoon, and the situation may be the reason for the power struggle between parent and child. Although it rarely goes with the occasion, at least not on a conscious level, it often becomes a strain, persuasion, explanation, and often cry.
Ana, Charles mom (5 years), are often faced with recurrent situation - Karl says it's time to sleep and clean up toys that are middle of the room because it's time to go to sleep to save. Charles is initially ignores these demands and continues to play like he has not a claim was made. After several repeated requests, Charles began to pray that my mom would want to play only 10 minutes. But 10 minutes is never actually 10 minutes. After 20 minutes of patient repetition, Anu starts Karlovo delay greatly disturbed. Aware of the importance of proper upbringing of the child, Anna repeated the request several times and explain to him why it's important to clean up toys. When it fails, Ana starts yelling at him for the last Carlo signal that the "devil take a joke" and that now is really the time to do what he was told. And so be it, with tears Charles, additional strain and frustration that Anna's high level of frustration.
Ana, like most parents, aware that no whole day of negotiations with the child and explain why something needs to be done. Parents want the best for our children and we are really trying, but somehow, against all odds, the outcome is still very similar. On the other hand, is often asked - not whether there should be one that will determine what the child needs to be done, and not to the child to decide what and when to listen to something?
What does the power struggle?
Although at first you might not act so, the behavior of Anna and Karl as they belong to opposing teams.Everyone pulls at his side, both determined to get their way, you win. Fights receding power of parents and children, provide fertile ground for resistance, rebellion, hostility, blaming one side or the other extreme obedience if the child has poor self-esteem. Such situations are emotionally overwhelming for both the children and parents. Leave behind feelings of disappointment, frustration, anger, sadness, helplessness, and so focuses on situations that are not in the pleasure and satisfaction through time. In every family there are power struggles, but not on an everyday basis. They can be avoided. Only after fears of absent blaming, shaming or pain, in an atmosphere of intimacy and trust are at the forefront, the child feels safe and can learn about important issues for further development and later life.
Children test the limits
Throughout their development, children testing parental boundaries are determined areas of independence and autonomy. How child to say "no" the first time verbalize their power and money makes it to the knowledge of what you would not want. As children grow, so does "not" begin to relate different things in different situations. Kids love to have control over the situation. Recognize that the power and control of their parents, and how different children learn life skills, so try to acquire the skills and determination to control.
The need for power is a normal psychological need. This need has been associated with the development of thinking, learning, problem solving, expression of feelings, self-reliance. Have the need for power is not a bad thing. It becomes a problem only when a child uses the power in a negative way. Children who have a strong need to be able to use it in this way when you are trying to achieve what you want. They refuse to do what they are asked as a requirement. I do not want to do what they're told. Resists authority and prefer to create their own rules. They like to determine how things will develop.
Most of the parents in these situations emphasize their own power and control. As can be seen from the previous example, it does not work. Once a parent is found in a power struggle, and he and the child was lost as a consequence of the fight leaves.
If the child gets what he wants, if he discounts the parent and thus "win" in the struggle for power, it is learned that power brings victory. If a parent "wins", the child believes that parental power caused it to conclude that the power really has a great value. Both cases result in more attempts by the child to fight using his power, each time with a new and more elaborate methods.
Using children to be able to express themselves in different ways. The most common active struggle for power, such as negotiation. But some children have learned to use passive resistance. Instead of negotiating, the children will refuse to accept the claim. I can nod my head, sat in silence, sometimes even a little and smile. But regardless of whether it is active or passive struggle for power, for both versions require at least two of the fighting is taking place.
What to do?
Having made the decision that we will not be part of the struggle for power is the first step. It requires a strong commitment from parents to no longer include the bickering and lengthy negotiations. They need to express their expectations and then simply determined to go which leaves the child to itself a decision.Clear expression of what we want from him, as he must do, and what happens if you fail to do so and then go away, deftly avoiding the area for a potential power struggle.
As previously described, the frequent battles can affect the quality of the relationship between child and parent. Frequent leaving "bitter taste" in a relationship, bad feelings about the implementation of time together, affect the general positive family atmosphere, joy for the new implementation of common time, and so the total amount of daily happiness and satisfaction with the child and parents. When frequent these days, with normal life stress, it's hard to relax and be entertained by playful with his child.
Therefore, you plug in a new development incentive program PROVENTUS Center "time for us."
This is an opportunity where parents and children spend time unencumbered joy and relaxation in common creative and entertaining games. The implementation of such a common time, without the usual "haggling", affects the quality of other everyday situations. The program includes an individualized approach based on knowledge of developmental psychology, marriage and family psychology, transactional analysis and play therapy. It is intended for all parents with children aged 0 to 7 years old who want to encourage their child's development through games together and for parents who want to improve their relationship with the child.It is conducted in small groups in the upmarket area of the head of the toy with a wealth of experience in working with children and parents. The program allows parents to acquire knowledge and skills in order to communicate with their child, and will have the opportunity to better understand why children behave as they do.
The most common source of frustration in the parent - child relationship is certainly related to the struggle for power. Would you wear this dress, whether to stay awake for 10 minutes, whether to eat or not, whether to go to kindergarten or not, will look a little more like a cartoon, and the situation may be the reason for the power struggle between parent and child. Although it rarely goes with the occasion, at least not on a conscious level, it often becomes a strain, persuasion, explanation, and often cry.
Ana, Charles mom (5 years), are often faced with recurrent situation - Karl says it's time to sleep and clean up toys that are middle of the room because it's time to go to sleep to save. Charles is initially ignores these demands and continues to play like he has not a claim was made. After several repeated requests, Charles began to pray that my mom would want to play only 10 minutes. But 10 minutes is never actually 10 minutes. After 20 minutes of patient repetition, Anu starts Karlovo delay greatly disturbed. Aware of the importance of proper upbringing of the child, Anna repeated the request several times and explain to him why it's important to clean up toys. When it fails, Ana starts yelling at him for the last Carlo signal that the "devil take a joke" and that now is really the time to do what he was told. And so be it, with tears Charles, additional strain and frustration that Anna's high level of frustration.
Ana, like most parents, aware that no whole day of negotiations with the child and explain why something needs to be done. Parents want the best for our children and we are really trying, but somehow, against all odds, the outcome is still very similar. On the other hand, is often asked - not whether there should be one that will determine what the child needs to be done, and not to the child to decide what and when to listen to something?
What does the power struggle?
Although at first you might not act so, the behavior of Anna and Karl as they belong to opposing teams.Everyone pulls at his side, both determined to get their way, you win. Fights receding power of parents and children, provide fertile ground for resistance, rebellion, hostility, blaming one side or the other extreme obedience if the child has poor self-esteem. Such situations are emotionally overwhelming for both the children and parents. Leave behind feelings of disappointment, frustration, anger, sadness, helplessness, and so focuses on situations that are not in the pleasure and satisfaction through time. In every family there are power struggles, but not on an everyday basis. They can be avoided. Only after fears of absent blaming, shaming or pain, in an atmosphere of intimacy and trust are at the forefront, the child feels safe and can learn about important issues for further development and later life.
Children test the limits
Throughout their development, children testing parental boundaries are determined areas of independence and autonomy. How child to say "no" the first time verbalize their power and money makes it to the knowledge of what you would not want. As children grow, so does "not" begin to relate different things in different situations. Kids love to have control over the situation. Recognize that the power and control of their parents, and how different children learn life skills, so try to acquire the skills and determination to control.
The need for power is a normal psychological need. This need has been associated with the development of thinking, learning, problem solving, expression of feelings, self-reliance. Have the need for power is not a bad thing. It becomes a problem only when a child uses the power in a negative way. Children who have a strong need to be able to use it in this way when you are trying to achieve what you want. They refuse to do what they are asked as a requirement. I do not want to do what they're told. Resists authority and prefer to create their own rules. They like to determine how things will develop.
Most of the parents in these situations emphasize their own power and control. As can be seen from the previous example, it does not work. Once a parent is found in a power struggle, and he and the child was lost as a consequence of the fight leaves.
If the child gets what he wants, if he discounts the parent and thus "win" in the struggle for power, it is learned that power brings victory. If a parent "wins", the child believes that parental power caused it to conclude that the power really has a great value. Both cases result in more attempts by the child to fight using his power, each time with a new and more elaborate methods.
Using children to be able to express themselves in different ways. The most common active struggle for power, such as negotiation. But some children have learned to use passive resistance. Instead of negotiating, the children will refuse to accept the claim. I can nod my head, sat in silence, sometimes even a little and smile. But regardless of whether it is active or passive struggle for power, for both versions require at least two of the fighting is taking place.
What to do?
Having made the decision that we will not be part of the struggle for power is the first step. It requires a strong commitment from parents to no longer include the bickering and lengthy negotiations. They need to express their expectations and then simply determined to go which leaves the child to itself a decision.Clear expression of what we want from him, as he must do, and what happens if you fail to do so and then go away, deftly avoiding the area for a potential power struggle.
As previously described, the frequent battles can affect the quality of the relationship between child and parent. Frequent leaving "bitter taste" in a relationship, bad feelings about the implementation of time together, affect the general positive family atmosphere, joy for the new implementation of common time, and so the total amount of daily happiness and satisfaction with the child and parents. When frequent these days, with normal life stress, it's hard to relax and be entertained by playful with his child.
Therefore, you plug in a new development incentive program PROVENTUS Center "time for us."
This is an opportunity where parents and children spend time unencumbered joy and relaxation in common creative and entertaining games. The implementation of such a common time, without the usual "haggling", affects the quality of other everyday situations. The program includes an individualized approach based on knowledge of developmental psychology, marriage and family psychology, transactional analysis and play therapy. It is intended for all parents with children aged 0 to 7 years old who want to encourage their child's development through games together and for parents who want to improve their relationship with the child.It is conducted in small groups in the upmarket area of the head of the toy with a wealth of experience in working with children and parents. The program allows parents to acquire knowledge and skills in order to communicate with their child, and will have the opportunity to better understand why children behave as they do.
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