Identify the aggressive child and find out more about it
The time and circumstances in which we live has made aggression and violence as an integral part of our lives. Whether we know it or not, different forms of aggression have become so present that many behaviors do not even interpret as aggressive or notice that our children increasingly show exactly this behavior.
Parents of aggressive behavior perceived as a problem, only if they exceed already high, the limit of tolerance and social neprihvatljiva.Takođe become, over time, parents were divided into two groups: those who think it's OK, even desirable that their child is stubborn , restless, (rarely will say to your child is aggressive), because they think that such a property can only help you in this world and the other group of parents who would like their children to the foster communication primarily as a model for conflict resolution. However, this second group of parents in certain problem situations, child support aggression.(For example, if a boy at school hitting your child, here are a number of possible solutions to it, but you'll probably add this: "First you try to explain to him that it bothers you ... but if he does not stop, you hit him back the same measure .... ") So we have various forms of violence and aggression are not subject to everyone, but everyone, from time to time and use.
Today we distinguish between explosive and impolzivan anger. The explosive anger they show that react to every little thing, they tend to noisy debates, nervousness, frequent scenes ... This anger manifests itself violently, brief, and leaves no consequences. Impolzivan anger is rare but because he remembers the long and the consequences can be dangerous and scary. He is present among those who give the impression of daily life is very calm and level-headed person. However, when a "burst", fully justifying the adage: "Beware the wrath of the patient man."
However, before anyone define your child's behavior as an explosive, hysterical, aggressive ... consider whether it is really the case, or maybe just another stage in its development?
In fact, many parents think that when a child less than a year with throwing toys all around and every time he asks them to fetch him the same toy to what is thrown again ... they were the first sure signs of future agresivnca. However, this 'game' is quite common in this age group. It is similar to a later age, between 2and 3 when a child is slowly conquering social space. It is now known that certain words cause different reactions of adults. It manages to provoke their parents using these words (usually will not do it, and other expressions of refusal or defiance, and in a later age and a little swearing) and also checked his limits are set, what is allowed and what is not and why, what happens when that violates the agreement to not use those words ... So, again, no sign of aggression.
However, as early as preschool age many children go through different phases of anger, ie. aggression. She is cast in the shops if you buy them chocolate, break into hysterical crying or screaming attack whatever they refuse. They have learned and have in your experience that you will eventually give in if they remain persistent. Because this is their behavior applied to anything they want. Clearly, the parents give in because it's much easier (for example, to give the child what he wants) rather than endure another scene agresivca small. However, once you give in, like temper tantrums can expect very often. They will be repeated in a variety of situations both in public and in the family setting. As long as you give in, the child needs it, rather, exploited. As if you gave him the green light to behave in the future, your child has found a means of achieving any of its objectives.
For most children, gives results in just ignoring rages. Tell the child, "I can not listen to it, it bothers me when so much shouting. I will now go into another room and come back when you calm down. Then we will be able to discuss and agree on everything. "It's important to stay consistent with that. Go into the next room, cope, and be sure that if not before, when he gets tired of the madness to stop.
Therefore, yelling and spanking are generally counterproductive methods (shouting child can be seen as competition, who's going to annoy anyone over who has more nerve, who will be louder ...) a spanking may work in one situation but not any educational tool for future similar situations. On the contrary, physical punishment deepens misunderstanding between you and the child.
What you can try is:
* In the pre-school period to focus on the practice of child's concentration. Common stacking puzzle game, or play with clay, plasticine ... can lead to a negative energy accumulated itself on the right way and at the same time exercise care, develop motor skills, coordination of movement ...
* Team sports will allow the child to be physically depleted, but also to practice social communication with peers. If you are not comfortable, try the common physical activities to channel the child's repressed emotions and anxiety, while strengthening your relationship (Walk together, bike ...) At the same time, remember that it is far more important than the physical activity itself as the major results or competition .
* Limit TV viewing because it is often just the content that children see on TV in the main trigger aggression. Particularly undesirable action, horror and science fiction films. On violent content (which established itself so that they are no longer even aware of), children respond by becoming more aggressive themselves, adopting the views of the use of aggression to resolve conflict, and are less sensitive to real violence in their communities.
* Think about your requirements from the child. Be especially careful that your son does not litter the prejudices and expectations for his gender (do not tell your son that men have to be strong, brave and great, boys do not cry ...), it is no coincidence that the boys are just prone to aggressive behavior.
* Set a good example. Solve conflicts conversation and argument. Of course, always keep in mind that "because I said so" - not an argument.
* Give your child small tasks to osećcalo important and useful to you
* Do not by your child ever require unconditional obedience. Feelings that may freely express their opinions and disagree with you is key to developing a positive self image. Children grow up and build their personality, among other things, and so they oppose her parents. On the other hand, when you feel constrained and fail in others, socially acceptable way to show that they are different (for example, using a garment, jargon, lifestyle) violence is sometimes the only option left to show their diversity.
* Play with your child changing roles. For example: "Now let's play a little shopping, you're a mom and you want the house and I am a child and I want to stay in the park, now, now I, now, aaaaaaaaaaaaa" Imitate the child, change voice, make an effort to annoy him as much how it usually annoy you, and always use real situations in your life.
* In a similar way as the changing roles, work and children's theater. When you play a good guy, a child can imagine that the only positive thing that helps him overcome his problems and enhance confidence. When himself as a villain, he is allowed to express violence - and in a way that is highly respected in actors. (Which is more convincing, more plays)
* Praise your child every time instead of aggressively trying to convince you of anything arguments. Also, when you see that she's nervous, he's trying to deal with itself, that it is hard for anything .... hug him.
Might at first seem odd, but that isitnito agresivci have little confidence. That's why they made space for themselves where they feel "major" and powerful, with themselves as the winners. Do they need this because they are at home or bullying older brother suffer because of divorce or are enrolled in a school that did not want ... only suppress their own problems by imposing their will peers.
In certain situations: if you are aggressive toward other children your child: Insist that your child solve problems only. Keep in touch, so they can jump in if needed, but only a first attempt. Interfere only when there is a physical calculation.
If your child is aggressive, the worst thing you can do is to deny the problem and believe that all children are like that. Instead, the effort and time to talk a lot, make the child different ways of resolving conflicts.When recognized, or surmise that the child's manifest aggression, try to prevent, avoid, turn his attention.Remember that your child aggressiveness often wishes to draw attention to themselves. So never give up, and wait for this behavior disappears by itself.
Finally, if your child continues to invest in various conflict situations pay attention to his age, that is. if his friends initiating various problems. In fact, when it comes to a physical calculation is often the most disturbing "arena" and observers who passively encourage violence, which is a form of aggression, too.When the crowd would not be present, it is certain that many of the children tried in different ways to solve their mutual conflicts. Specifically, it is important to remember that children are not born aggressive, selfish, spoiled ... She's such a station. Sometimes this aggression reinforce peers and sometimes roidtelji.That is why is necessary to make your relationship with your children is based on trust and understand, that you know your child and you have constant access to their interests, needs, its environment. That is, to grow up together.
The time and circumstances in which we live has made aggression and violence as an integral part of our lives. Whether we know it or not, different forms of aggression have become so present that many behaviors do not even interpret as aggressive or notice that our children increasingly show exactly this behavior.
Parents of aggressive behavior perceived as a problem, only if they exceed already high, the limit of tolerance and social neprihvatljiva.Takođe become, over time, parents were divided into two groups: those who think it's OK, even desirable that their child is stubborn , restless, (rarely will say to your child is aggressive), because they think that such a property can only help you in this world and the other group of parents who would like their children to the foster communication primarily as a model for conflict resolution. However, this second group of parents in certain problem situations, child support aggression.(For example, if a boy at school hitting your child, here are a number of possible solutions to it, but you'll probably add this: "First you try to explain to him that it bothers you ... but if he does not stop, you hit him back the same measure .... ") So we have various forms of violence and aggression are not subject to everyone, but everyone, from time to time and use.
Today we distinguish between explosive and impolzivan anger. The explosive anger they show that react to every little thing, they tend to noisy debates, nervousness, frequent scenes ... This anger manifests itself violently, brief, and leaves no consequences. Impolzivan anger is rare but because he remembers the long and the consequences can be dangerous and scary. He is present among those who give the impression of daily life is very calm and level-headed person. However, when a "burst", fully justifying the adage: "Beware the wrath of the patient man."
However, before anyone define your child's behavior as an explosive, hysterical, aggressive ... consider whether it is really the case, or maybe just another stage in its development?
In fact, many parents think that when a child less than a year with throwing toys all around and every time he asks them to fetch him the same toy to what is thrown again ... they were the first sure signs of future agresivnca. However, this 'game' is quite common in this age group. It is similar to a later age, between 2and 3 when a child is slowly conquering social space. It is now known that certain words cause different reactions of adults. It manages to provoke their parents using these words (usually will not do it, and other expressions of refusal or defiance, and in a later age and a little swearing) and also checked his limits are set, what is allowed and what is not and why, what happens when that violates the agreement to not use those words ... So, again, no sign of aggression.
However, as early as preschool age many children go through different phases of anger, ie. aggression. She is cast in the shops if you buy them chocolate, break into hysterical crying or screaming attack whatever they refuse. They have learned and have in your experience that you will eventually give in if they remain persistent. Because this is their behavior applied to anything they want. Clearly, the parents give in because it's much easier (for example, to give the child what he wants) rather than endure another scene agresivca small. However, once you give in, like temper tantrums can expect very often. They will be repeated in a variety of situations both in public and in the family setting. As long as you give in, the child needs it, rather, exploited. As if you gave him the green light to behave in the future, your child has found a means of achieving any of its objectives.
For most children, gives results in just ignoring rages. Tell the child, "I can not listen to it, it bothers me when so much shouting. I will now go into another room and come back when you calm down. Then we will be able to discuss and agree on everything. "It's important to stay consistent with that. Go into the next room, cope, and be sure that if not before, when he gets tired of the madness to stop.
Therefore, yelling and spanking are generally counterproductive methods (shouting child can be seen as competition, who's going to annoy anyone over who has more nerve, who will be louder ...) a spanking may work in one situation but not any educational tool for future similar situations. On the contrary, physical punishment deepens misunderstanding between you and the child.
What you can try is:
* In the pre-school period to focus on the practice of child's concentration. Common stacking puzzle game, or play with clay, plasticine ... can lead to a negative energy accumulated itself on the right way and at the same time exercise care, develop motor skills, coordination of movement ...
* Team sports will allow the child to be physically depleted, but also to practice social communication with peers. If you are not comfortable, try the common physical activities to channel the child's repressed emotions and anxiety, while strengthening your relationship (Walk together, bike ...) At the same time, remember that it is far more important than the physical activity itself as the major results or competition .
* Limit TV viewing because it is often just the content that children see on TV in the main trigger aggression. Particularly undesirable action, horror and science fiction films. On violent content (which established itself so that they are no longer even aware of), children respond by becoming more aggressive themselves, adopting the views of the use of aggression to resolve conflict, and are less sensitive to real violence in their communities.
* Think about your requirements from the child. Be especially careful that your son does not litter the prejudices and expectations for his gender (do not tell your son that men have to be strong, brave and great, boys do not cry ...), it is no coincidence that the boys are just prone to aggressive behavior.
* Set a good example. Solve conflicts conversation and argument. Of course, always keep in mind that "because I said so" - not an argument.
* Give your child small tasks to osećcalo important and useful to you
* Do not by your child ever require unconditional obedience. Feelings that may freely express their opinions and disagree with you is key to developing a positive self image. Children grow up and build their personality, among other things, and so they oppose her parents. On the other hand, when you feel constrained and fail in others, socially acceptable way to show that they are different (for example, using a garment, jargon, lifestyle) violence is sometimes the only option left to show their diversity.
* Play with your child changing roles. For example: "Now let's play a little shopping, you're a mom and you want the house and I am a child and I want to stay in the park, now, now I, now, aaaaaaaaaaaaa" Imitate the child, change voice, make an effort to annoy him as much how it usually annoy you, and always use real situations in your life.
* In a similar way as the changing roles, work and children's theater. When you play a good guy, a child can imagine that the only positive thing that helps him overcome his problems and enhance confidence. When himself as a villain, he is allowed to express violence - and in a way that is highly respected in actors. (Which is more convincing, more plays)
* Praise your child every time instead of aggressively trying to convince you of anything arguments. Also, when you see that she's nervous, he's trying to deal with itself, that it is hard for anything .... hug him.
Might at first seem odd, but that isitnito agresivci have little confidence. That's why they made space for themselves where they feel "major" and powerful, with themselves as the winners. Do they need this because they are at home or bullying older brother suffer because of divorce or are enrolled in a school that did not want ... only suppress their own problems by imposing their will peers.
In certain situations: if you are aggressive toward other children your child: Insist that your child solve problems only. Keep in touch, so they can jump in if needed, but only a first attempt. Interfere only when there is a physical calculation.
If your child is aggressive, the worst thing you can do is to deny the problem and believe that all children are like that. Instead, the effort and time to talk a lot, make the child different ways of resolving conflicts.When recognized, or surmise that the child's manifest aggression, try to prevent, avoid, turn his attention.Remember that your child aggressiveness often wishes to draw attention to themselves. So never give up, and wait for this behavior disappears by itself.
Finally, if your child continues to invest in various conflict situations pay attention to his age, that is. if his friends initiating various problems. In fact, when it comes to a physical calculation is often the most disturbing "arena" and observers who passively encourage violence, which is a form of aggression, too.When the crowd would not be present, it is certain that many of the children tried in different ways to solve their mutual conflicts. Specifically, it is important to remember that children are not born aggressive, selfish, spoiled ... She's such a station. Sometimes this aggression reinforce peers and sometimes roidtelji.That is why is necessary to make your relationship with your children is based on trust and understand, that you know your child and you have constant access to their interests, needs, its environment. That is, to grow up together.
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