Spanking is not the solution!

Not only have studies shown that most parents do not like beating children, but experts have proved that spanking is not effective. In contrast to these is the fact that nearly 75% of parents reaching for beating the first sight as a disciplinary measure. Does spanking should be banned by law?

Somewhere near you, someone just beat his child. Research conducted in Britain showed that even 94% of physically punishing four-year - almost half of them more than once a week. The same survey found that more than 75% one year old was beaten in the first year of his life! However, nearly 75% of parents who were included in this study claimed to feel awful after you beat a child, and only one in five respondents believe that parents are an effective way to beating your child learn to distinguish good from bad behavior. In other words, parents do not like to beat the kids, so do not even believe in the efficacy of beating. But on the other hand, does not give just beaten the fastest results? If the child is "insane" and does not want to listen to rational explanations, or to cooperate, is not the only possibility of beating? They did not, says a growing number of professionals dealing with child rearing. The truth is that you will achieve instant results - beating the child will calm down now.However, tests have shown that the first child the next time to do the same thing that you have him beat. Child psychologists say that children are not able to answer the question why they were physically punished. Beat your child that you are torn on the street, it will remember the beating but will not learn a lesson about safety, it was your intention.

Appeals to outlaw spanking does not come from a small group of liberal parents (or those without children). This has become an international issue. In the ten European countries protect children from beatings law, a study conducted in Europe have found that the 58% of the citizens of those countries where there is no law supported its adoption, until the law is to protect parents who resort to that sometimes its very slightly magnifying glass a child.

"Reasonable chastisement" - The biggest problem with the law is the part which speaks of "reasonable punishment", that is, as opposed to serious physical abuse, are allowed. These terms are as defined, is very individual. There are many parents that constant physical punishment of children considered normal educational measure, not offense. In addition - to prescribe the permissible strength of the impact? Quite correct argument in these debates is that the law does not allow "reasonable" physical punishment adult. Hit the adult is punishable.Why can not also be true for the children? The only logical, but the tremendous response is that children are vulnerable and can not fight back.

But what to do if you are really beating the only thing you have left? Being a parent is not easy and sometimes each of us must "break". The latest guides to help parents say the main thing to make a distinction between discipline and punishment. Positive education focuses on the good stuff: the prize for children's behavior that grant, even if it is about the smallest things. Children love when they receive attention, so that it will strive to give you pleasure to see whether they like it "worth it". Of course, things will not change overnight, but persistence can certainly change the behavior of the child. Try to distract the attention of those things that bother you, especially those of a child still is not done (do you recognize the phrase "if you do, you will get beaten up?").

When it comes to crucial moments where you feel that someone will get hurt, psychologists suggest that the most important attempt to create a vacuum between himself and the child, which means practically or completely separated from the child and try not to be alone with him. With very young children in this case is crucial to have someone you at least fifteen minutes to be replaced and you create a time during which you can cool off. If this option is not there, try to stress drain along with the child. The physical drain not be beaten, you can try to suggest to him to play together zmir, Gagné, jumping or playing lions and ricet until the anger is drained. Another option is to save and run it in the park or playground.

Experts recommend time out. But what about situations where the child is thrown on the floor until all the supermarkets turn and look behind you and it is because he does not want to buy what you ask for? Most experts agree that children in these cases it is best ignored. Like all those that amused your show. Of course, you always have an eye on it, but you can remove a few meters from where the child is buried, but when there is a fountain of tears or neizdrživih sounds the human ear, you can go back, take him in my arms and try to explain why can not get what he wants. One will surely stop. However, you must have enough nerve and be prepared that it can take an hour. And although this is one of the worst possible situation, do not avoid the store tomorrow. Send the child a bad sign - or you'll think you won, or that problems should be solved by making them turn back.

When it comes to children over three years, so most experts recommend. time out - children should be sent in a separate room, or to allocate to a particular place at one time. He does not forget to kneel on corn. The point is not that a child is suffering, but to him to know that his behavior is bad. In addition, it will give you a few moments in which you can gather. Experts recommend that this penalty is limited to a maximum of ten minutes or for as many minutes as the child's age. This method will send the message that you do not want to tolerate the behavior that you have previously warned, but given time and the child understand what it actually does. It is also recommended that this type of sentence you repeat every time it is the same or similar error. If it forces you to constantly go into a corner, that he will eventually get bored.

A very effective strategy and the withdrawal of privileges or toys (watching TV, playing games, etc..). However, if it choose to do that, after the first threat of the agenda into action and stay consistent. Otherwise - no winner.Although the child has received what they wanted, you sent a message that will also be a next time.

Sometimes it is very important to understand that there are things about which i do not bother to apply. The best tactic for a particular situation, experts say, just do not watch. I keep the power for matters that are truly important. Of course, that so many parents say they have already tried all this and that nothing has failed. With a team that such statements often exaggerated. You can expect to ten days after the change of tactics, to teach a child how to behave in life.

Parenting is not something that lasts for ten days, but all his life. If at the end and beats up baby - do not forget that this is not the end of the world. Most important is to understand where the failure occurred and try again.After all - and you are only human. A child does not hurt to learn the important lesson here.

Beaten in sight! How to Avoid Them?

For children under five years:

* Try to detach from the child - even the smallest distance to work,

* Call someone who will not shock your obezglavljenost - soothing conversation,

* Redirect energy - iscijepajte mallet bag or old newspaper, making sure your child without having seen and not hurt,

* Try the tactic of discharge - remove the child from having to channel the anger and the fact that you will dance to his favorite tapes,

* Try to divert his attention to something else - read to him or sing to him,

* Take your child than what you were annoyed - patterns on the walls -> run him out,

* Sometimes give in - consider whether you are just working on which will be the last, only wants to eat - let him!

For children over five years:

* Try outom time, or close to another room for ten minutes,

* Have grown enough to understand that "no" means "no" - to repeat them, but still, do not let you out of the clock,

* Try to separate them from what you annoying - if you throw toys, subtract them and tell them that they will be able to play again only when calm.

* As children grow, the abolition of privileges makes more sense, let the first target to be spending money, or TV.

How to stay calm?

~ Accept that some stages of development of the child just like that. For example, children under three years tend to be really tough. Do not blame yourself you're a bad mother - you are simply fed up and frustrated, and it happens to everyone. Always blame the behavior, not the child. Do not hate because your child is naughty. Your child loves you and you love it, it is conduct which is unacceptable. Do the same thing happens with adults?

~ Reward all good behavior - it always works. Do not tell them that they are always bad, you used them and convince them of that. Rather praise them when they are good. Children love attention.

~ If it beats, do not apologize to him or take him into his arms no matter how difficult it was. Children remember and apply tactics that they learn. And this is one of the worst.