Do not shout and do not insult the kids!

Do not shout and do not insult the child, but his carefully chosen words, in accordance with his age, explain that you hit him on the butt because you did something very dangerous because you were scared. 

Proposed changes to family law, which envisages the prohibition of physical punishment of children, actualized the question whether the beating, no gain.

- As soon as it is said that he came out, it means that it is in heaven and that there was expelled from it because it was not right. Whenever you mention the phrase, I recall another, equally well known, that says "stick has two ends" - said Biljana Lajović, a psychologist from Belgrade.

Not all the diagram ISTA

She believes that there are situations in which punishment is justified beatings and stresses that parents resort to force when they are helpless, and angry when they are unable to respond soberly and sensibly.

- When a child, not looking left and right, runs to the sidewalk to the street to a car moving at high speed, the parent reacts instinctively, catching his arm, pulling together and removed to a safe place. There is the use of physical force is understandable because there is no time for discussion and persuasion - explains Lajovic and emphasizes that in this case is not about physical punishment.

However, Branka Tišma, a psychologist at the elementary school "Laza Savatić" in Belgrade, said that in life we ​​often impose on situations in which parents can only physically punish your child's behavior.

- No child at least once in their lives did not try to push your finger in a socket or parents who do not šljepnuo on the arm or buttocks. It's not spanking, corporal punishment is not for impulsive reaction to a parent who wants to protect her child - says Tišma.

This position has a majority of parents who know that children often find themselves in dangerous situations because they are climbing on the shelves of books, standing on top of slide, swing and jump from the high wall, pulling the dogs tail ...

TWO ON TOUR ONLY IF YOU MUST

- Do not shout and do not insult the child, but his carefully chosen words, in accordance with his age, explain that you hit him on the butt because you did something very dangerous because you were scared. The shot should not be viewed out of context, especially if the child always feels loved - Tišma said.

If a parent is angry for its own reasons, and struck the child on the butt of the most innocent little things, of course it's wrong. However, if the child despite numerous requests and warnings all night makes defiance, throwing food, spilled yogurt on the table, kmeči and rebels, a parent may punish him with mild stroke.

- I do not know how else could make him calm down and behave decently - Branka Tišma added.

Parents, she says, and know that you clip too far in children. Of these, the true center of the world, and that children are often abused.

- A parent can not and must meet all children's wishes, especially if they go beyond the real possibilities. Red must be known and a parent must demonstrate that it has power. I'm not in any of the children to decide everything alone, it would then go to bed until midnight, sitting there at the computer, the only food french fries and pizza and the rules of the scene because of the ban. The limit has to exist - says Tišma.

Asked whether the border defending beating, she explains that mild physical force used to be made, but only sometimes, because otherwise the child indurate the beating and they will no longer have any meaning.

5 irreplaceable educational RULES

First Set clear rules and boundaries of behavior that the child can not exceed. It also needs to know what to expect if they violate the agreement. Be consistent and uniform because the child needs to know that both parents have the same attitude.

Second The child always has to know that parents love it - and when the good, and when naughty, and when you beat a younger brother. Beloved child is confident and sure, rarely examines the limit parental patience and histeriše. So always, before you iskritikujete, explain that you do because you love him and want him because well.

Third Always criticize behavior, not the child. I never bothered to tell him the bad, rude and crude, but you do not like his behavior in a particular situation. Otherwise you will only cause his defiance - "Mom thinks I'm stupid, so I'll behave."

4th Children under three years should not be punished because they do not distinguish the cause or consequences of right and wrong. The damage is not made intentionally, but explore the surroundings. Children between three and 11 years can not punish the denial of privileges such as watching your favorite cartoon or playing a favorite toy.

5th The best way to teach children to behave nicely is to reward and praise, a beautiful word, a hug ... This will show them that recognizes their efforts and will help them develop self-confidence.