The surprise for parents

In which you will find all the situations and how to proceed?

Within families, there are significant differences between firstborn and drugorođenog children - from sex differences in age, character of individuality, the general physical and mental health, as well as various life situations in which parents were at the time when the rising first, and later a second child. All these factors can, in certain periods of life and development of both children, reflect on certain beliefs and attitudes - both the children and their parents, and the immediate environment. The most common is the appearance of an older child's jealousy against the younger, but not a rare situation to be reversed, or that jealousy is mutual.

Jealousy and how to solve

Many parents are afraid of jealousy firstborn child, to realize at some point in the second born child jealously.

Adequate response, dealing with children and the aforementioned good organizations can overcome these problems. Parents should make an effort to both of these children receive the same attention and equal amounts of time spent together - when dealing with certain activities appropriate for age.

Situations where you may find that you have two children of different ages:

Situation 1:

The younger the child, although the opposite sex, often wants the same things over - whether it comes to clothes, toys, shoes, or something related to school activities. It also wants to remain at home but to join the company of older children. They insist to go out with them, to play together, or spending time with them when they come to visit. Often no explanation can not stop crying and mališanov application. Then the parents try to persuade the older child to give in, "Please, let it be with you just a little bit, do not cry! After all, you're older / a, you can easily understand ...".

If parents do not allow to interfere with a child younger elderly, but it suggests that something else is interested, it can become very irritable, restless, even that statement: "Nobody does not like!" In the event that such situations are repeated, the younger child can enter the frequent verbal and even physical conflict with the older child. Or to retreat, and inconsolable crying.

Situation 2:

An older child can come into a situation that does not have the freedom to socialize with their peers, because they "must always be mindful" of a younger brother or sister. Children usually comment like: "I do not know the game and we're all spoiled!"

Unfortunately, if this situation persist, the older child begins to avoid socializing with peers. Also, can live in the belief that no child is loved, but that does not tell his parents. Then get jealous, weepy, oversensitive, often rejecting parenting orders, and the younger the child enters into a variety of verbal and physical conflicts.

The reaction of parents

Sometimes parents think that this is only a short stage in the development of their children, it will pass ... so do not pay much attention.

Some believe that the older child, because he can no longer understand, should not accept such a role, and those views are relentlessly sticking, which can cause numerous problems.

Imitation is the positive

Children usually learn imitative motivated by curiosity and exploring what happens when you repeat a pleasant or unpleasant behavior of adults. As older and younger children imitate each other, their parents and their environment. In younger children, imitation is a means to achieve the effect, and during further development can be used to verify the emotions of each member of the family group, to the later developmental period that has adopted such a position or belief.

Some parents think it is essential that children in such situations to be separated, so that strictly take care not to disturb each other.

A number of parents do not try to intervene in such situations, but leaves the children to solve. And often there is a child crying, pickle, heated arguments, mixed with short periods of calmer.

The reaction environment

It is important to know that in addition to parents and other persons from the immediate environment: such as grandparents, relatives, neighbors, friends, teachers can play a decisive role in the messages that indicate - as they remembered, crossing into the subconscious and are retained lifetime.

Conversation - the key to success

A parent can sit next to a three-year child (or take it on your lap), and to act in the same manner and with the older child, and telling them how much they loved, how much do they care about is that he likes as smart , beautiful, valuable ...

The potential of these children will surely come to light. They will try to justify the parents and show themselves in the best light. Children will want to show what they can do best, will accept any positive verbal message in the form of orders.

From the moment you take the time to talk with children, parents approach requires good organization and free consultation. The only way children learn and acquire many habits of behavior.

Parents Code of Conduct

Here are some rules that parents should be adopted:

- We should make a list of interesting content and timing of their implementation, for both children.

- To try to be positive mood, there are lots of stories and laughing.

- Try to have children are not exposed to excessive noise, not to become sensitive.

- Not at all, be punished children. But if there is a need for it, then you should not be drastic, and should not yell.Children of three or four years are too young to understand the punishment. They need to explain why they are punished. The penalty may not last long, because in this case children feel rejected. After the punishment, should gradually create an atmosphere of good cheer.

- Children should not be afraid of something that does not exist - if they do not do what you are looking for. We should tell them that there will not be loved or to be paid if someone does not fulfill the order. Children should not create the fear of losing their parents.

- Teach your children's emotions and feelings. When you are angry, say so and explain to children the best way to know how - why are you angry and why.

- Gestures (if a little child) show your feelings. From time to time, ask your child how to be angry, laughing, crying ...

- From time to time leave the door open nursery. Tell the child that you are there when you needed him accidentally.

- If the children are restless or irritable, too tired or express disapproval regarding sleep, give them a favorite toy and tell something nice - until you're sure to have calmed down.

- Sometimes a parent to a child of primary school organizes several activities, meetings, visits to cinema, theater ... While another, younger child, you should organize different activities.