The most common problem of parents today is that their children seem to constantly sit at the computer, playing video games or "look on the net," and most often doing both. The book and do not even think, school is boring and completely non-motivating, and read a book seems like an impregnable feat for which there is no need, and certainly not as much as the need to move towards a new level in the game, or "troop on Facebook."
* Internet children's lives - what your child is doing online?
Today, the Internet is about 1.2 billion, or about 18 percent of the world's population (consciously), and unconsciously as much as 30 percent (through a variety of devices, telephones, television). Of these, half the age of 5 to 18 years. Content that children use mostly "fun" character - pictures, movies, chat, games and other entertainment facilities. The most popular among them are the site for exploring the Internet, MySpace and Facebook. Frightening is the fact that 57% of children on the Internet see a kind of pornography. After these statistics, the fact that many parents feel that their children are safer at home in front of a computer than on the street, it becomes quite worrying. But the time has come to put this claim under a big question mark.
Violence is all over the internet and in the virtual environment of communication at first sight it seems that the law, technology, schools and parents can do very little to stop it.
Of course, the computer and the Internet are the dark side of the world, but uncontrolled and aimless use of the Internet is a great danger to children but also for adults. Where children are concerned, the danger is, of course, and much more.
* Communication via the Internet
The most common way of accessing malicious people to children via the Internet various forms of misrepresentation, (generally a good virtual friend of the same age, understanding). Since gain a child's trust the next stage is to send photographs, references to Web portals or scheduling meetings and exchanges of personal contacts. In this last stage of a child forced by blackmail or ordinary force the system to the desired activity. This does not apply only to sex, but also to other types of exploitation - theft, fraud and the like.
Mobile phones are a category of device which, in addition to having access to the Internet, and also allow some abuse. Increasingly, we have seen films shot with mobile phones which aims ridicule, or even bullying.Children in schools have become very abusive and blackmailers (bullying through the Internet and mobile devices), and responsible persons are not sure what to do to prevent this.
Although it seems that these are extreme cases, the truth is that they happen more often than we are aware.However, even if the focus is moved away from such cases, the fact remains that children via mobile phone connected to the internet and play games or spend time on Facebook and similar sites. Given that almost every child has a cell phone, and only a small number of controlled conditions, it opens up a wide field of possibilities not only for the misuse of the Internet, but also for simply a waste of time or will provide a basis for behavior and lifestyle in which creativity develops and conformity becomes paramount.
* How parents can influence?
Technical resources are accessible to all children and adults, unfortunately, most are not aware of the problem. They are often not aware of what kids are doing on different technical tools (what to write messages, take pictures of what mobile phones, etc.). Because of it, or do not have time or do not want to violate the privacy of their children. Many parents because of their own ignorance and lack of experience in the field of computers feel insecure and helpless, and about and talk to their children. They feel pretty helpless because I do not know what to do.
How do you as a parent? The most important thing to notice even the slightest change in the behavior of the child. If the child resides outside of the home more than usual, if you spend more time at the computer, try to find out why. Also, if you feel that your child spends too much time at the computer, playing games or spending time on sites for entertainment, not to acquire any useful knowledge, or the time spent at the computer behind in school, have lower grades than before, bring certain rules. In the world we live in, is not intended to completely deny the child use the computer or playing games. Can you do it's a good idea, however, if we consider that all the peers of your child spend time on the Internet and playing games, the absolute deprivation will lead only to the fact that your child has a problem socializing with their peers because they will have problems finding common topics of conversation. The solution is - find a measure.Limit the use of computer time, bear in mind that your child visits the sites and, most importantly, talk to him. But he do not completely take away the time on the internet. Although you might not like it, the Internet has become an important part of communication with children and young people, and certainly not a solution to disable them, this type of communication.
Instead, find a time for the children, not the children instead of their companies offer computer and Internet. Learn more about the computer so that you can talk to children about their topics of interest.Introduce clear rules limit the use of computers, for example, a computer may not be used after school and after they finished homework.
Place the computer in the living room, not in the nursery for so you can monitor the children while they are on the Internet and see which pages visited. Encourage the use of computers as tools for learning and socializing, not only for entertainment (eg games). Do not understand socializing online as bad. What did you, when you were a kid, playing outside and spending time inventing games does not mean that it is possible today. Of course, do not allow their children to completely ignore the physical activity and just sit in front of the screen, but hanging over the Internet opens up some nice features that you as a child were not available. Certainly, we should not ignore the risks, but the same can not be done with any of the benefits. Your child can make friends all over the world, all from your living room. As long as you're here, and while you can give your child be well-meaning counselor (from his point of view, of course), the Internet communication may stem much good.
If, however, came up to the fact that your child becomes a victim of some form of Internet violence, or if you experience something unpleasant, degrading or in any way bad, there are also things you can do.However, keep in mind that children are not so easy to turn to an older person to help, and that's why you have to be careful in approaching. What is it that you do?
* Teach your child not to respond to violent, threatening, or in any way suspicious messages
* Do not delete messages or images, they can be used as evidence so that they can take appropriate measures to prevent violence
* Contact your Internet service provider, the identity of the school bullies known, or any of the institutions or persons who can help
* Try to contact the parents of their peers in a way, the Internet threatens your child (because there is a high probability that they do not know how their child acts)
* Contact the police if the messages over the Internet contain threats of violence in any form.
But let's deal with some more other part of the problem. Even when your child has developed a healthy social network of peers with whom to socialize through the Internet, although at first glance looks good, even in such situations is not necessarily free from trouble. It is possible that your child spends too much time on the computer, that is interested in games, but not for school and learning, and generally do not want to go to school. This may be lack of motivation, lack of interest and lack of will to learn, but also it can be an escape from some of the problems related to school, such as fear and anxiety.
* Fears and anxiety in school children
In general, fear is an understandable reaction to a dangerous situation. He humanity enabled the preservation of life because we are in life threatening situations, forced to flee or defend. Although the fear of the people quite normal, he has sometimes impossible to function normally.
Advice for parents who want to help their child who is too afraid of:
Teach a child the dangers are real, and therefore the fears and dangers that are impossible. When the child is in fear, try to get his attention (go for a walk with your child, read to him a book or play a game, talk ...).
Teach your child how to refocus their attention only when he is afraid of something that can not be avoided ("Can not think of something nice. On what are you thinking?"). Encourage the child ("We will be together to celebrate your success."). Talk with your child (talk should not take too long as the child gets the impression that the parent color, and becomes even more frustrated). Teach your child some coping skills fear of which the most important assessment of probability that it will happen precisely what the child color ("How certain are you that this will happen?"). "I'm not going to school." "Can you stay with me?". "It's my stomach / throat. Can I stay home? ". These are sentences that at least one out of the mouth of your child hear most parents. Sometimes they hide behind these sentences and deeper problems than just trying to avoid the day school.
* How to recognize the fear of school?
The child is afraid to go to school or stay in school but no adults in the family (usually parents). Before school child complains of headache, abdominal pain or other pains that are not physical in nature. When you stay at home because of the "disease" suddenly feels much better. The child always put off going to school (can not decide what to wear, long dresses, forgetting things and returns home, etc..) And always late to class.
* How can parents help?
Find out if there is a problem why your child does not want to go to school. If there is a specific problem for which the child does not want to go to school together solve your problem (for example, if a child is afraid of oral exams, can practice their common this situation).
Try to make a list of the child, "Why do not all like school." This list can help parents prevent and reduce the causes of why a child does not like to go to school (for example, if a child writes "I do not like to go to school for reading," a parent might not agree with the teacher about less stressful method of testing reading ). Be sure not to naređujte child must go to school. Try to understand his fears and to explain why it is important to go to school.
Spend as much time as possible with the child while it is not in school.
If a child is shy and he does not make friends at school, give him advice and / or engaging in some indoor and outdoor leisure activities. Praise your child for his every effort to overcome fear. If this problem is long and / or if it is too intense, consult professionals (school psychologist, therapist or doctor). Make sure your child eats a healthy diet and enough sleep - usvajajte healthy ways of living. Practice with your child different relaxation methods (eg, deep breathing, etc.)..
* Fear of examinations, tests and assessment
The child becomes so nervous when he faces the test or the board of an oral examination, to have a sense of what it is all knowledge "evaporated", even if you are very well prepared for the test or examination.
How to help a child who is afraid of exams?
Preparation >>>
Motivate your child to be ready for the test well in advance.
Motivate your child to daily recap of the material objects that is the problem.
If the child does not understand the material, some written questions to ask the teacher next time.Sometimes it's good that children learn with their peers.
Practice >>>
Today they are available in many bookstores exercise books, worksheets, and other similar materials that is used for training material. Consult with the teacher which of these books was the most appropriate for your child.
If your child uses exercise books, review the method of solving the tasks to be able to help him in those areas that are difficult to learn.
Look at the child's notebooks that the teacher / ica worked with students / by a pilot test. When you practice with your child, using similar tasks in its pilot test using a teacher / ica.
Reducing fear >>>
Practice with your child relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, slowly relax your arms and legs, relaxing facial muscles. These techniques children can use immediately before writing the test in order to reduce tension.
Children who suffer from a fear of exams, often while writing test considering the negative outcome of the test ("I'll be sure to get a unit.", "What would mom say?" Etc..) Because I can not concentrate on the tasks that have to them. Teach your child to think positively about the test (eg, "I learned and I will know to solve most of the issues.", "This is just a test.", "Later I can be upset, now I'm going to solve the test."). Children who are afraid of the oral examination, it is necessary to exercise (acting) of the situation.
Conduct of the examination >>>
Encourage your child to listen carefully the instructions teachers before the test in order to avoid something skipped.
Encourage your child to at the beginning of the test, "fly" through all the issues, in order to identify those that are lighter and those that are more difficult. When the test comes to the question of which currently can not answer, you should skip it and come back to this question later. Warn your child to read the questions to the end, and not just in part. Encourage your child to if you finish writing the test before the scheduled time, you once again to check the answers to the questions.
>>> Morning before the exam
Save your child a "good" and good breakfast rich in carbohydrates and vitamins (mandating pressed glass of orange juice, for example).
Be sure that the child is in school at the time and not be late.
Encourage your child and wish him luck (do not mention the importance of achieving good results).
And >>> after the exam?
It is extremely important that the child after the test or tests to know the results achieved as well as what is possibly wrong. If the test is brought home, discuss possible errors (explain to the child what was asked of him and that is the correct answer). The child needs to understand the purpose of the test - test of learning, but also, more importantly, the knowledge that the material should be repeated or learned.
The child never talk only about the assessment, the number of completed tasks, or the number of points on the test. Discuss the progress it has achieved in his knowledge and / or progress in overcoming fear.However, the most important of all the talk. And do not forget to reward your child from time to time. So if it is a few hours at the computer.
Teach your child how to refocus their attention only when he is afraid of something that can not be avoided.Teach your child some coping skills fear of which the most important assessment of probability that it will happen precisely what the child is black.
* Internet children's lives - what your child is doing online?
Today, the Internet is about 1.2 billion, or about 18 percent of the world's population (consciously), and unconsciously as much as 30 percent (through a variety of devices, telephones, television). Of these, half the age of 5 to 18 years. Content that children use mostly "fun" character - pictures, movies, chat, games and other entertainment facilities. The most popular among them are the site for exploring the Internet, MySpace and Facebook. Frightening is the fact that 57% of children on the Internet see a kind of pornography. After these statistics, the fact that many parents feel that their children are safer at home in front of a computer than on the street, it becomes quite worrying. But the time has come to put this claim under a big question mark.
Violence is all over the internet and in the virtual environment of communication at first sight it seems that the law, technology, schools and parents can do very little to stop it.
Of course, the computer and the Internet are the dark side of the world, but uncontrolled and aimless use of the Internet is a great danger to children but also for adults. Where children are concerned, the danger is, of course, and much more.
* Communication via the Internet
The most common way of accessing malicious people to children via the Internet various forms of misrepresentation, (generally a good virtual friend of the same age, understanding). Since gain a child's trust the next stage is to send photographs, references to Web portals or scheduling meetings and exchanges of personal contacts. In this last stage of a child forced by blackmail or ordinary force the system to the desired activity. This does not apply only to sex, but also to other types of exploitation - theft, fraud and the like.
Mobile phones are a category of device which, in addition to having access to the Internet, and also allow some abuse. Increasingly, we have seen films shot with mobile phones which aims ridicule, or even bullying.Children in schools have become very abusive and blackmailers (bullying through the Internet and mobile devices), and responsible persons are not sure what to do to prevent this.
Although it seems that these are extreme cases, the truth is that they happen more often than we are aware.However, even if the focus is moved away from such cases, the fact remains that children via mobile phone connected to the internet and play games or spend time on Facebook and similar sites. Given that almost every child has a cell phone, and only a small number of controlled conditions, it opens up a wide field of possibilities not only for the misuse of the Internet, but also for simply a waste of time or will provide a basis for behavior and lifestyle in which creativity develops and conformity becomes paramount.
* How parents can influence?
Technical resources are accessible to all children and adults, unfortunately, most are not aware of the problem. They are often not aware of what kids are doing on different technical tools (what to write messages, take pictures of what mobile phones, etc.). Because of it, or do not have time or do not want to violate the privacy of their children. Many parents because of their own ignorance and lack of experience in the field of computers feel insecure and helpless, and about and talk to their children. They feel pretty helpless because I do not know what to do.
How do you as a parent? The most important thing to notice even the slightest change in the behavior of the child. If the child resides outside of the home more than usual, if you spend more time at the computer, try to find out why. Also, if you feel that your child spends too much time at the computer, playing games or spending time on sites for entertainment, not to acquire any useful knowledge, or the time spent at the computer behind in school, have lower grades than before, bring certain rules. In the world we live in, is not intended to completely deny the child use the computer or playing games. Can you do it's a good idea, however, if we consider that all the peers of your child spend time on the Internet and playing games, the absolute deprivation will lead only to the fact that your child has a problem socializing with their peers because they will have problems finding common topics of conversation. The solution is - find a measure.Limit the use of computer time, bear in mind that your child visits the sites and, most importantly, talk to him. But he do not completely take away the time on the internet. Although you might not like it, the Internet has become an important part of communication with children and young people, and certainly not a solution to disable them, this type of communication.
Instead, find a time for the children, not the children instead of their companies offer computer and Internet. Learn more about the computer so that you can talk to children about their topics of interest.Introduce clear rules limit the use of computers, for example, a computer may not be used after school and after they finished homework.
Place the computer in the living room, not in the nursery for so you can monitor the children while they are on the Internet and see which pages visited. Encourage the use of computers as tools for learning and socializing, not only for entertainment (eg games). Do not understand socializing online as bad. What did you, when you were a kid, playing outside and spending time inventing games does not mean that it is possible today. Of course, do not allow their children to completely ignore the physical activity and just sit in front of the screen, but hanging over the Internet opens up some nice features that you as a child were not available. Certainly, we should not ignore the risks, but the same can not be done with any of the benefits. Your child can make friends all over the world, all from your living room. As long as you're here, and while you can give your child be well-meaning counselor (from his point of view, of course), the Internet communication may stem much good.
If, however, came up to the fact that your child becomes a victim of some form of Internet violence, or if you experience something unpleasant, degrading or in any way bad, there are also things you can do.However, keep in mind that children are not so easy to turn to an older person to help, and that's why you have to be careful in approaching. What is it that you do?
* Teach your child not to respond to violent, threatening, or in any way suspicious messages
* Do not delete messages or images, they can be used as evidence so that they can take appropriate measures to prevent violence
* Contact your Internet service provider, the identity of the school bullies known, or any of the institutions or persons who can help
* Try to contact the parents of their peers in a way, the Internet threatens your child (because there is a high probability that they do not know how their child acts)
* Contact the police if the messages over the Internet contain threats of violence in any form.
But let's deal with some more other part of the problem. Even when your child has developed a healthy social network of peers with whom to socialize through the Internet, although at first glance looks good, even in such situations is not necessarily free from trouble. It is possible that your child spends too much time on the computer, that is interested in games, but not for school and learning, and generally do not want to go to school. This may be lack of motivation, lack of interest and lack of will to learn, but also it can be an escape from some of the problems related to school, such as fear and anxiety.
* Fears and anxiety in school children
In general, fear is an understandable reaction to a dangerous situation. He humanity enabled the preservation of life because we are in life threatening situations, forced to flee or defend. Although the fear of the people quite normal, he has sometimes impossible to function normally.
Advice for parents who want to help their child who is too afraid of:
Teach a child the dangers are real, and therefore the fears and dangers that are impossible. When the child is in fear, try to get his attention (go for a walk with your child, read to him a book or play a game, talk ...).
Teach your child how to refocus their attention only when he is afraid of something that can not be avoided ("Can not think of something nice. On what are you thinking?"). Encourage the child ("We will be together to celebrate your success."). Talk with your child (talk should not take too long as the child gets the impression that the parent color, and becomes even more frustrated). Teach your child some coping skills fear of which the most important assessment of probability that it will happen precisely what the child color ("How certain are you that this will happen?"). "I'm not going to school." "Can you stay with me?". "It's my stomach / throat. Can I stay home? ". These are sentences that at least one out of the mouth of your child hear most parents. Sometimes they hide behind these sentences and deeper problems than just trying to avoid the day school.
* How to recognize the fear of school?
The child is afraid to go to school or stay in school but no adults in the family (usually parents). Before school child complains of headache, abdominal pain or other pains that are not physical in nature. When you stay at home because of the "disease" suddenly feels much better. The child always put off going to school (can not decide what to wear, long dresses, forgetting things and returns home, etc..) And always late to class.
* How can parents help?
Find out if there is a problem why your child does not want to go to school. If there is a specific problem for which the child does not want to go to school together solve your problem (for example, if a child is afraid of oral exams, can practice their common this situation).
Try to make a list of the child, "Why do not all like school." This list can help parents prevent and reduce the causes of why a child does not like to go to school (for example, if a child writes "I do not like to go to school for reading," a parent might not agree with the teacher about less stressful method of testing reading ). Be sure not to naređujte child must go to school. Try to understand his fears and to explain why it is important to go to school.
Spend as much time as possible with the child while it is not in school.
If a child is shy and he does not make friends at school, give him advice and / or engaging in some indoor and outdoor leisure activities. Praise your child for his every effort to overcome fear. If this problem is long and / or if it is too intense, consult professionals (school psychologist, therapist or doctor). Make sure your child eats a healthy diet and enough sleep - usvajajte healthy ways of living. Practice with your child different relaxation methods (eg, deep breathing, etc.)..
* Fear of examinations, tests and assessment
The child becomes so nervous when he faces the test or the board of an oral examination, to have a sense of what it is all knowledge "evaporated", even if you are very well prepared for the test or examination.
How to help a child who is afraid of exams?
Preparation >>>
Motivate your child to be ready for the test well in advance.
Motivate your child to daily recap of the material objects that is the problem.
If the child does not understand the material, some written questions to ask the teacher next time.Sometimes it's good that children learn with their peers.
Practice >>>
Today they are available in many bookstores exercise books, worksheets, and other similar materials that is used for training material. Consult with the teacher which of these books was the most appropriate for your child.
If your child uses exercise books, review the method of solving the tasks to be able to help him in those areas that are difficult to learn.
Look at the child's notebooks that the teacher / ica worked with students / by a pilot test. When you practice with your child, using similar tasks in its pilot test using a teacher / ica.
Reducing fear >>>
Practice with your child relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, slowly relax your arms and legs, relaxing facial muscles. These techniques children can use immediately before writing the test in order to reduce tension.
Children who suffer from a fear of exams, often while writing test considering the negative outcome of the test ("I'll be sure to get a unit.", "What would mom say?" Etc..) Because I can not concentrate on the tasks that have to them. Teach your child to think positively about the test (eg, "I learned and I will know to solve most of the issues.", "This is just a test.", "Later I can be upset, now I'm going to solve the test."). Children who are afraid of the oral examination, it is necessary to exercise (acting) of the situation.
Conduct of the examination >>>
Encourage your child to listen carefully the instructions teachers before the test in order to avoid something skipped.
Encourage your child to at the beginning of the test, "fly" through all the issues, in order to identify those that are lighter and those that are more difficult. When the test comes to the question of which currently can not answer, you should skip it and come back to this question later. Warn your child to read the questions to the end, and not just in part. Encourage your child to if you finish writing the test before the scheduled time, you once again to check the answers to the questions.
>>> Morning before the exam
Save your child a "good" and good breakfast rich in carbohydrates and vitamins (mandating pressed glass of orange juice, for example).
Be sure that the child is in school at the time and not be late.
Encourage your child and wish him luck (do not mention the importance of achieving good results).
And >>> after the exam?
It is extremely important that the child after the test or tests to know the results achieved as well as what is possibly wrong. If the test is brought home, discuss possible errors (explain to the child what was asked of him and that is the correct answer). The child needs to understand the purpose of the test - test of learning, but also, more importantly, the knowledge that the material should be repeated or learned.
The child never talk only about the assessment, the number of completed tasks, or the number of points on the test. Discuss the progress it has achieved in his knowledge and / or progress in overcoming fear.However, the most important of all the talk. And do not forget to reward your child from time to time. So if it is a few hours at the computer.
Teach your child how to refocus their attention only when he is afraid of something that can not be avoided.Teach your child some coping skills fear of which the most important assessment of probability that it will happen precisely what the child is black.
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