How to come up with misunderstanding, loneliness and feelings of rejection by "opposing camps", within the same family? Everyday eagerly talking with a colleague, who is the father of three children, about male-female relationships. At least once a week, talk with a friend, a mother of two children "on it" and everything she prepares, and whenever I hear the godfather (two girls) - like searching for a needle in a haystack, trying to think of couples who function as the beginning.
Affiliate relationships are inexhaustible subject and, as our experience was authentic, often I hear from parents and frightening absurd claim - all is well until you reach the children, because children ruin everything good in the relationship. then became angels ... Dragan says they are loved, respected and competed in tweaking each other until they are born angels ... With the birth of heirs had stopped to help, began to rise, and that is insulting. Sasha believes that women give men from the moment you realize as a mother. Convinced that men neglected in families with children, that women are too oriented youngest. I know a family in which the father said he renounces "nevaspitanog her child and her" ... Not infrequently happens that the cause of the impaired relationship parents see in the third person, who interfered in their relationship - their shared child. Are ready to move on, to use the child as an instrument of revenge conundrum. And the consequences that can occur due to an inappropriate parental behavior are large, sometimes indelible. Unprepared for Parenting Simendić Oliver, a psychologist, a specialist in family mediation from the department for analytical and research work of the City Center of Social Work, said that the birth of a child in circumstances in which the partners failed to adapt to a new role in his life, can lead to the distance between the spouses, but also that the child could not possibly be the cause of the gap between the partners. Novo child as a solution -often happens that the parents choose to give birth of a "new" child , to overcome problems in the family and in-state to "ucvstili troubled emotional ties."However, if the family does not solved our problems, but it bypasses the birth of a new child, eats the problems disappear, but will their solution is currently postponed. Sooner or later, this problem will again eskaliratii and it will take more effort and energy to resolve. - The distance between the parents occurs if the partners have not solved the developmental task that preceded parenting, or partners if the reason the marriage was unplanned and unwanted pregnancies . In addition, the partners may have illadapted attitude towards parenting. Perhaps one partner is not ready to be a parent, and there is his unwillingness shared with a partner. What else could be the reason for the misunderstanding and quarrels among partners in a situation where they see the child as the cause of the problem? - It happens that some people simply are not willing or able to be parents, and sometimes the cause of this difficulty that they themselves have undergone during their upbringing, and their inability to commit to the care of someone else. Readiness Test Parenting is a great test of maturity for a young couple. Young married couple will be easier to adjust to their new role if the partners adapt to each other. Nurses are changing previous roles and family responsibilities multiplied. Life of a couple is changing and it is necessary to talk about it openly. It is especially important to talk about what will be in their lives changed by the arrival of the new, to reassess their expectations and beliefs, and to share their thoughts with each other. If there are differences between the partners in relation to parenting, it is expected that there will be a problem. How to recognize this situation? - Partners gradually become more distant with each other, the less time they spend in joint activities, they do not recognize each other's needs, not communicate, are increasingly turning to meet their needs that preclude partners, conflicts among them are frequent. In such situations, the couple spend more time outside the family, at work, with friends. In their mutual relations, the present tensions. appeal for help how they feel their child in such a situation? - Regardless of age, the child feels the tension that exists between the parents, and usually has a feeling of guilt. It often happens that when a child develops a symptomatic behavior. whether children, in their own way, try to intervene and unite parents? What undertaken in this situation? - Children whose behavior is always trying to attract the attention of parents and keep them away from their conflict. The behavior of children is a reflection of events in the family.When young children are in child reaches the regression in behavior, or at a school child to behavioral problems and poor academic achievement in relation to ability - these are all the appeals for help, which usually reflect the conflict situation in the family and catch the attention of parents with their partner problems to the problems of children. I think there is a child whose parents are divorced and that no parent wants to reconcile. Manipulating child How often and in what ways parents manipulate child? - If there is a problem in the functioning of the partnership, parents consciously or unconsciously retract the child in conflict and thus manipulate him. It happens that parents seek for their children to be loyal, to choose between a father and a mother with children to share a secret. In this situation, divided loyalties, the child will develop a sense of insecurity and anxiety. parents generally underestimate the ability of children to cope with sensitive information. When you decide to make them acquainted with the problems, the majority of mothers and fathers was surprised to learn that their children already know or assume what they have to convey. In conflict situations, scored "small victories" are only an illusion, since in such situations usually all suck. These are the current victory and, if parents continue with such behavior patterns, inevitably there will be a cumulative problem, and thus harder to solve problems. Teamwork attitude is the solution when we should expect that the child will begin to manipulate their parents? - Child will manipulate in all situations in which it is to realize a profit - that longer watch television, play games, go outside, to obtain the desired kicks, and more. Situations where the parents have agreed educational styles, or are in conflict, not talk - in favor of the child to do what he wants. arguments or silence - the fray know they are very uncomfortable, especially if the child is their witness. In such situations, the parents of an inappropriate use of vocabulary express their objections to each other, but such communications once they manage to resolve the conflict. Silence and nekomuniciranjem, tensions are accumulated, do not speak the comments, criticism and expectations, and a child may have an idea what the reason is parental conflict. All this leads to a compounding problem. Compared with their children, parents need to be consistent, to set appropriate limits to what children learn is desirable and what is unacceptable behavior. Parenting includes not only the attitude toward the child, but also the relationship between the partners. Both parents should be in relation to the child are performing as a team. Doing so will reduce the possibility of manipulating the child. Where this leads to a complex problem and how can it be overcome? - If the problem is resolved, arises a crisis in family functioning. The crisis can be resolved if the family members are motivated to independently solve problems, or to assess their potrebnastručna help and for her and they talk. spouses need to have the capacity to change, to first of all recognize and admit they have a problem and that ga want to solve. If it is between family members maintained emotional ties, if they are motivated to overcome the problems that have, any problem can be overcome.
Affiliate relationships are inexhaustible subject and, as our experience was authentic, often I hear from parents and frightening absurd claim - all is well until you reach the children, because children ruin everything good in the relationship. then became angels ... Dragan says they are loved, respected and competed in tweaking each other until they are born angels ... With the birth of heirs had stopped to help, began to rise, and that is insulting. Sasha believes that women give men from the moment you realize as a mother. Convinced that men neglected in families with children, that women are too oriented youngest. I know a family in which the father said he renounces "nevaspitanog her child and her" ... Not infrequently happens that the cause of the impaired relationship parents see in the third person, who interfered in their relationship - their shared child. Are ready to move on, to use the child as an instrument of revenge conundrum. And the consequences that can occur due to an inappropriate parental behavior are large, sometimes indelible. Unprepared for Parenting Simendić Oliver, a psychologist, a specialist in family mediation from the department for analytical and research work of the City Center of Social Work, said that the birth of a child in circumstances in which the partners failed to adapt to a new role in his life, can lead to the distance between the spouses, but also that the child could not possibly be the cause of the gap between the partners. Novo child as a solution -often happens that the parents choose to give birth of a "new" child , to overcome problems in the family and in-state to "ucvstili troubled emotional ties."However, if the family does not solved our problems, but it bypasses the birth of a new child, eats the problems disappear, but will their solution is currently postponed. Sooner or later, this problem will again eskaliratii and it will take more effort and energy to resolve. - The distance between the parents occurs if the partners have not solved the developmental task that preceded parenting, or partners if the reason the marriage was unplanned and unwanted pregnancies . In addition, the partners may have illadapted attitude towards parenting. Perhaps one partner is not ready to be a parent, and there is his unwillingness shared with a partner. What else could be the reason for the misunderstanding and quarrels among partners in a situation where they see the child as the cause of the problem? - It happens that some people simply are not willing or able to be parents, and sometimes the cause of this difficulty that they themselves have undergone during their upbringing, and their inability to commit to the care of someone else. Readiness Test Parenting is a great test of maturity for a young couple. Young married couple will be easier to adjust to their new role if the partners adapt to each other. Nurses are changing previous roles and family responsibilities multiplied. Life of a couple is changing and it is necessary to talk about it openly. It is especially important to talk about what will be in their lives changed by the arrival of the new, to reassess their expectations and beliefs, and to share their thoughts with each other. If there are differences between the partners in relation to parenting, it is expected that there will be a problem. How to recognize this situation? - Partners gradually become more distant with each other, the less time they spend in joint activities, they do not recognize each other's needs, not communicate, are increasingly turning to meet their needs that preclude partners, conflicts among them are frequent. In such situations, the couple spend more time outside the family, at work, with friends. In their mutual relations, the present tensions. appeal for help how they feel their child in such a situation? - Regardless of age, the child feels the tension that exists between the parents, and usually has a feeling of guilt. It often happens that when a child develops a symptomatic behavior. whether children, in their own way, try to intervene and unite parents? What undertaken in this situation? - Children whose behavior is always trying to attract the attention of parents and keep them away from their conflict. The behavior of children is a reflection of events in the family.When young children are in child reaches the regression in behavior, or at a school child to behavioral problems and poor academic achievement in relation to ability - these are all the appeals for help, which usually reflect the conflict situation in the family and catch the attention of parents with their partner problems to the problems of children. I think there is a child whose parents are divorced and that no parent wants to reconcile. Manipulating child How often and in what ways parents manipulate child? - If there is a problem in the functioning of the partnership, parents consciously or unconsciously retract the child in conflict and thus manipulate him. It happens that parents seek for their children to be loyal, to choose between a father and a mother with children to share a secret. In this situation, divided loyalties, the child will develop a sense of insecurity and anxiety. parents generally underestimate the ability of children to cope with sensitive information. When you decide to make them acquainted with the problems, the majority of mothers and fathers was surprised to learn that their children already know or assume what they have to convey. In conflict situations, scored "small victories" are only an illusion, since in such situations usually all suck. These are the current victory and, if parents continue with such behavior patterns, inevitably there will be a cumulative problem, and thus harder to solve problems. Teamwork attitude is the solution when we should expect that the child will begin to manipulate their parents? - Child will manipulate in all situations in which it is to realize a profit - that longer watch television, play games, go outside, to obtain the desired kicks, and more. Situations where the parents have agreed educational styles, or are in conflict, not talk - in favor of the child to do what he wants. arguments or silence - the fray know they are very uncomfortable, especially if the child is their witness. In such situations, the parents of an inappropriate use of vocabulary express their objections to each other, but such communications once they manage to resolve the conflict. Silence and nekomuniciranjem, tensions are accumulated, do not speak the comments, criticism and expectations, and a child may have an idea what the reason is parental conflict. All this leads to a compounding problem. Compared with their children, parents need to be consistent, to set appropriate limits to what children learn is desirable and what is unacceptable behavior. Parenting includes not only the attitude toward the child, but also the relationship between the partners. Both parents should be in relation to the child are performing as a team. Doing so will reduce the possibility of manipulating the child. Where this leads to a complex problem and how can it be overcome? - If the problem is resolved, arises a crisis in family functioning. The crisis can be resolved if the family members are motivated to independently solve problems, or to assess their potrebnastručna help and for her and they talk. spouses need to have the capacity to change, to first of all recognize and admit they have a problem and that ga want to solve. If it is between family members maintained emotional ties, if they are motivated to overcome the problems that have, any problem can be overcome.
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