Recently, domestic violence has become a topic of public character. Open discussion of this issue indicates that the public has become sensitized to domestic violence that occurs in various forms, such as verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual and financial - of material. With this fact, agrees with Mr. Miro Vučenović, president of Blue phone, who believes that in the past few years, the public widely aware of this problem.
The most common form of family violence occurs between spouses. It is well known that in most cases the male abuser, whether beating, raping, or otherwise abusing his wife. But there are also cases where a woman beater. Frequent victims of domestic violence are also the children. The fact that the public is more aware of this problem arises one question-is there all this talk of the benefits of that? In a way, yes, but the solution still lies much deeper.
But it does lead to violence in the family, who are the victims of violence in any form, what is the situation in Croatia regarding domestic abuse, it is best to search for answers from people competent in the subject matter. Therefore, we sought specific information from the experts who are in one way or another familiar with stories related to family violence. One of them is the above-mentioned Mr. Miro Vučenović, president of Blue telephone help lines through which the 15 years of its existence, helped people in over 100 000 calls received. On the other hand, Joseph Jankovic, Professor at the Department of Social Welfare, said that rare person who has not experienced violence and ignorance that is the reason of this fact is that family members are usually trying to hide that fact in order to preserve their ideal image of the family environment, and violence, as well as other side effects, it remains a private matter members. Many abuse victims are not even aware that what it's about because they were convinced that abusers deserve everything that happens to them, or that such behavior is entirely appropriate conditions, the method of communication that is transmitted from generation to generation. But the reality beneath the surface is much harder and deeper and more serious problems.
Year 1974. founded the first shelter for battered women
According to the facts, there is violence in the family for hundreds of years and have contributed to the development of his beliefs about the inferiority of women. In response to this situation, in 1974. established a shelter for abused women and their children, which was an incentive to create a large number of shelters across America. In addition, the 70-ies of the last century, the police response to domestic abuse had a procedure in which violence was reported when questioned on both sides who were involved in the event and encourage people that they occur in such situations. The threat of arrest gave them enough strong likelihood that the situation will not be repeated in the future. Nineties of the last century have led to a shift in the process. The arrest has become an integral part of police protocol for reporting violence. The reason was very simple. A person in prison could not hurt anyone anymore. However, as English law is breathing?Is such a situation in Croatia? Although the public is sensitized and although much has been legally reified in terms of domestic violence, there is still a cruel reality that Mr. Vučenović stresses in a metaphorical way of saying, "What does this all worth it, because the law is what it is for? Act serves to violate . " Although Mr. Vučenović highlights the fact that the law serves to implemented, it raises the question: "Who will implement the law?". According to Mr. Vucenovic still in Zagreb there are those that function as bureaucrats and cases related to violence are treated as nothing but another case in the series in the archive. "The reaction to the situation in Croatia related to domestic violence equals the society we live in and it's hard to expect anything else," says Mr. Vučenović. Croatia is full of various forms of violence, especially if we take into account the increasingly frequent reports of killings that occur in them. It is obvious that these families had various problems before such a tragic end. Viewed from another angle, prof.Jankovic says that there are penalties expected abusers and states: "We are not yet accustomed to report bullies and we have different standards. Males are more frequently reported for the violence committed against women and other family members, which is certainly commendable, but still that is not present in full measure, and the violence that women are largely hidden. Almost always tolerated bullying when abusers are women, while male violence is tolerated less and less, which are much contributed to women's movements, women's NGOs and activists brave "And he added:" Of course it's good and that we should continue to strive. " As for domestic violence in Croatia, according to Mr. Vucenovic situation looks something like this: "When we are at the beginning of 90-track call statistics, it was 0.36% of abused, which is really rare. Means it happened, but very rarely. When we repeated the statistics of the 1994th and 1995., this percentage jumped to 1.60%, and then the number is increased even more, "and adds:" Then we invited the public to give people know that something is happening in society . " Mr. Vučenović stresses that this procedure did not find fertile ground and they get very little response from the journalists sent a warning. It seems that the public has had little understanding for this situation. However, does it now? Mr. Vučenović argue that nothing has changed since then, especially financially, except for the already mentioned fact that legal provisions have been made and that the public is sensitized.
The pursuit of power and control is the foundation of family violence. It is believed that the use of violence by batterers compensate for their own insecurities and shortcomings. Everybody knows that the statement about changing behavior in the future, which comes from the abuser when they are brought to justice deserted hopes. Psychological basis of domestic violence are much deeper and more powerful than words.Some abusers are given the label of mental illness, but the fact is that most of them do not fall into this category. "Abusers among a literate, illiterate, semi-literate up to politicians and intellectuals," says Mr. Vučenović. A similar opinion has prof. Jankovic, who believes that all people are prone to violence, which confirms the words: "Before, it was thought that only mentally ill psychopaths and those who are abused, but studies have shown that this is not so, and that we are all prone to some kind of violence, or active reactive depending on the personalities and circumstances. " But they said the abuser abuse? The reasons are many. Prof. Jankovic said that the research as the most common motivation abuse emphasized the need for precisely controlled. "The desire to display power and the subjugation of others, and establishing themselves as important people, motivates many abusers to violence. Reactive But there is violence, which was thought to be the main form of violence that is female. That women become violent only when responding to" male "active violence. course it's going in the opposite case," said prof. Jankovic, adding: "Sometimes I can even talk about the violence that is shifted. Redirecting the aggression in autoagression. A large number of alcoholics is to tell you from my own experience many years of working with them, looked for a way out of the situation of deprivation, neglect, contempt just in alcohol as alcoholism, according to some interpretations actually prolonged suicide. alcoholism in the run, because of pressure from his wife, that they often serve a great subtle forms of emotional and verbal abuse, to which their husbands had to react to the ban on the area they are stronger, unconsciously sought a way out of damaged partnership. "When it comes to control, maintain control over their victims is rather cruel-abuser realizes her from being burnt up isolated from the outside world to the fact that increases the amount of violence against her as she is showing more signs of separation. According to prof. Jankovic abuser gains control over the victim so that she can not do anything without his permission. "Of course it's difficult, and commands for each violation, which sets the abuser, there is a new aggression and abuse, a new amplification of fear in the victim, and so staggering scale," said prof. Jankovic.
Reports of child abuse every 10 seconds!
According to some data, reports of child abuse are coming every 10 seconds. Eerie is the fact that every third child dies as a result of such violence. Also, the inconvenient truth is that the figure is related to violence against children in the family is constantly increasing. Department of Health and Human Services of America has presented data indicating that the latter in 2003. The 906 000 children were exposed to violence in the family and that is including 1 500 children died as a result of violence. According to data from Colorado (Colorado Association of Family and Children's Agencies), considered the country with the highest rate of domestic violence in the area, in 2005. approximately 30 000 children were abused, and it equally boys and girls. Further data have pointed to an uncomfortable reality. Every year in Colorado as a result of violence dies twenty children. Of these, 75% under the age of 4 years, the most common injuries are those physical and sexual in nature. According to Mr. Vucenovic often the case that the Blue Phone occur grandmother who see their grandchildren in one way or another, abused, and adds: "Grandparents occur because they want to protect their grandchildren from their own children. Tells you to something? "
Frightening is the fact that the reports of sexual abuse of children in a substantial increase. Incest in families are becoming more common reality regardless of income, profession, religion or race. Statistics clearly show this fact. According to statistics, a third of all the world's children are sexually abused before age 18 was years. This data is translated into percentages given are shockingly information. Of the total number of children in the world are sexually abused 40% of girls and 30% boys. To make matters worse, the most common age of children abused in this way is under 7 years of age. The most common sexual abusers are family members or someone who is very close with his family. In New York, the common situation of finding the dead bodies of children who had been victims of physical and sexual violence, and the authorities often remain unidentified. The consequences of this behavior has on children are substantial.Children who have been exposed to sexual violence have a lower IQ and increased risk of depression, a tendency to murder and drug problems. However, although this man was responsible for the sexual abuse, it is surprising that says that there is a rise of women as sexual abusers. Approximately 5% of abusers in this, sex, area of the right woman! Mr. Vučenović stresses that occur in a small percentage of people who are personally abused. "More often call people who want to help abused," says Mr. Vučenović, and continues: "It's about friends, neighbors and the like. This is typical, because the abused often do not have the courage to call."
Abuse on children can leave the scary consequences. As the professor himself. Jankovic said, they are numerous and varied. Often there are consequences associated with behavioral disorders, mental disorders and psychosocial functioning of the child, says prof. Jankovic, saying harsh truth: "A child is abused not only basic needs are not met, it is permanently carried out an attack on his personality, mental and somatic health. Among the basic needs remain unsatisfied love as a basic necessity, which prevents non-compliance with the normal growth and development of the child, which is not a platitude. really need a man would love to be able to grow and develop normally. abused child who has that need, as well as several others, such as those for quality communication, intimacy, self-assertion, and others, not satisfied. ' The need for communication between parents and children, which is based solely on the abuse, children are not given too much and prof. Jankovic accordingly asks the question: "What kind of message a child from such a mode of communication can take?" Communication through abuse leaves an extremely grave consequences prof.Jankovic explained in simple words: "Beatings, insults, negative feedback led to the child itself creates a negative image, which prevents the establishment of basic security, self-confidence, develop quality adjustments in the family, community, peers, the future workplace ... . " As Professor. Jankovic said: "People do their own children horrible things very often because they do not love their children, as a psychopathic oriented, addicted or mentally ill but simply because they are not prepared for parenthood and tend abused because they themselves were abused and Now the violence carried on. "
Children abused by parents!
Information related to the abuse of children against parents sound impossible. But when you take into account that this is about adults, from my 40 years and over, who often physically abused by his father and mother, then the question arises-how parents react to this situation? According to Mr. Vucenovic majority of these people are of 60-70 years, and sometimes weep with envy when you call Blue Phone and stresses: "There is a very meaningful humans. It's neither bad nor grumpy people, and very often they do not believe themselves to be raised these children. For them it is extremely difficult realization. " Such parents can not believe that, not only raised, but these children were born, says Mr. Vučenović. Interesting information is that this form of abuse often is a child that your parents gave absolutely everything from housing, cars and other things they need and that the children, now adults, have everything. So, financially speaking, there is no basis for abuse.
But there is another form of this type of abuse that is associated with the younger children. According to prof. Jankovic to this form of violence comes just as the parents are not prepared for their parenting skills and lacking even the most basic information about how to raise their children, and among other things, for example do not set rules, limits or does not hold and thus sending the message that the child can get everything he wants. "If a parent does not know that his leniency will not help a child to be better, to become a stable, responsible, and productive adults, but just the opposite, it will happen to a child, even when he grows up and is expected to care for parents, search of them more and more, because they do not know the rules. Such a child sees the world and relate to it totally unrealistic, is convinced that he is permissive, "said prof. Jankovic, adding: "The requirements of the child getting bigger and at the same time they want to fulfill immediately, and at one point the parents are no longer able to fulfill all that is required of them, which then inevitably leads to aggression nezajažljivog offspring." Prof. Jankovic said that there are times when a child one day become stronger and to some extent independently, and then start back there from where aggression before it received, particularly happens often during adolescence crisis. It should be noted that for such behavior may be responsible psychoactive substances and the need for money to be acquired by such means, and what I prof. Jankovic holds one of the causes of ill-treatment of parents. Although all the above causes real, prof. Jankovic still the greatest responsibility on the quality of parenting that stresses the following words: "If the parents are of good quality and they know how to raise children and provide them with quality family environment with a lot of warmth, love, communication, and policies, and also understand the language of children and reasonably fit to their needs, then there will be problems. Otherwise they lack these factors returns in the form of aggression toward their children themselves at a time when they are most vulnerable ", adding:" It's about an unhappy child, because there are no bad kids. only accidents seem evil children, and most of the disaster comes from incompetent parents. "
Men do not recognize violence for fear of stigmatization
Statistically speaking, as far as abuse of women, about 80% of cases of abuse is abuse of men over women, says Mr. Vučenović and stresses that some times difficult to accept the fact that a young person of 20 years or so, that appear to help the Blue phone with one or two children and have no secure existence but depend on a man financially and housing and living in a small community. This is a situation with very little optimism, because in such environments is hard to find a job that is in some way out. "These women are in the Blue phone are out," said Vučenović, and continues: "Our facilities are really limited and often have nowhere to classify someone and give financial support to those people, because we do not have any. We are on the margins of society, and some way to the vicious circle. " The biggest, and most common, the problem of abuse of women is that they have no place to go, in addition, they have several children. Is there a way out? "Often the only way to stop the abuse of the abused person leaves the connection or relationship that is being abused," said prof. Jankovic. Statistics tell their own, but Mr. Vučenović highlights the fact that women are more willing to call and get help. On the other hand, Professor. Jankovic said statistical data from the early 21st century, which suggests that about 68% of reported violence perpetrated by men, and the remaining 32% of the perpetrators were women. But the professor. Jankovic highlights the need to take into account that men do not report the violence which is in favor of greater tolerance already mentioned the situation in connection with the violence of women against men. Global research and give a whole new different picture. As Professor. Jankovic said she deplored the fact that the violence exercised by men and women are equal, that each party has a share of 50%.
In order to kill the myth of the man as the abuser in the family, it should be noted that sometimes men are victims of abuse, as is evident from the above statistics. Violence against men is ignored because many sounds funny. According to Dr. Fieberta Martin (University of California) who investigated the physical violence of women against men, in a sample of 1000 women in the 300 is physically abused by their partners. Even more interesting is the fact that speaks to the violence prone women in their twenties, and furthermore, as the years go by, and still the thirties, the rate of violence among women is much lower. The data that is received Slavica Blažeka Kokorić in your topic for a PhD in which he explored the relationships between young people in their relationships and transmission patterns of behavior from the family, talking to the girls more aggressive than their counterparts. It is also interesting observation, though perhaps logical, in which prof. Jankovic said that women are more adept at emotional, psychological and verbal violence as opposed to men who are more physical violence, and continues: "For 1975. First studies have shown that women are in relationships just as much physically, emotionally and verbally violent as men. 'This kind of violence, there is very little information, among other things, for the reason that men are afraid of losing their masculinity and be declared a wimp. As Mr. Vučenović says: "Men are not yet ready to talk about their problems." Men is extremely hard to admit that they're being beaten, says Mr. Vučenović, however that such situations tend to be quite ruthless. The reason why men do not seek professional help is associated exclusively with the fear of stigmatization. Moreover, as Mr. Vučenović claims, it should be noted that women are taking leadership roles in groups and take on the role of men and become arrogant, and once he was in position to men. According to Mr. Vucenovic, the men are expected to behave in a pattern, to be macho dudes in line with all the other prejudices that go with the men, and now they're suddenly assaulted by women. "We must have the courage to admit something like the fact that your wife or daughter abuse," says Mr. Vučenović. According to prof. Jankovic and women throughout the story they want to save their reputation. But the professor. Jankovic emphasizes that the general climate in Croatia is such that men as abusers, and those women who need to be protected. Although the violence against men is often ridiculed, many argue for the fact that violence against men to be taken seriously. It should be borne in mind that violence is not a gender thing, but it is an issue related with all people. "It is a question of the human species" holds BA. Jankovic, "and the sooner people realize this and begin to deal with this through a process of socialization, upbringing, education and control system, the sooner this problem will be reduced to a sustainable level."
Harassment creates a pattern of behavior in children
The constant feeling of fear, because of exposure to threats in the environment in which they live, the reality is the victim of domestic violence. Dangers that victims exhibit associated with the acceptance of abuse as normal behavior. Children are the most critical group in this case, just because she copied the behavior of their parents. This sometimes leads to the risk of a new generation of abusers. "One of the consequences of child abuse is intergenerational transmission of abuse, because they are often the abusers in their own families and they were themselves abused as children in their families, and their parents are also in this form and its behavior is thus passed on from generation to generation as a folk song, "said prof.Jankovic. According to prof. Jankovic, children believe that the behavior seen in quite a normal family, and this kind of behavior, that is. violence, carried in your relationships, your family and your parental role.Concise way of saying: "People no one teaches you how to play any partner any parental role and pattern transfer, the role of the script, from their families, who are often totally wrong wording, which eventually leads to violent situations in the new family," said prof. Jankovic. Abuse is behavior that affects the entire life of family members exposed to violence. Consequences can be extremely serious and extremely deep scars. When asked how the victims feel, the answer is pretty sharp - a way of thinking, relationships with people, a sense of self-worth, daily activities and general functioning of the victims was extremely disturbed. PTSD, anxiety, depression and flashbacks are everyday victims of violence. To live with a constant sense of fear, nightmares and sleep problems is not pleasant, but for the victims of violence such conditions are a daily reality.
The scars that domestic violence has on children in some cases can be so powerful that it completely separated from the opportunity to learn social skills that they will need for life. One should take into account that it was the childhood stage of life in which these skills are learned, and that abused children often avoid contact with other people. According to prof. Jankovic, the abused child will have a negative self-image, self-esteem will be low it will be aggressive, because they know that there are different forms of operation, adding: "These children will come into conflict with everyone and in the end will often become abusers themselves , asocial, antisocial people so addicted and because she is seeking any stimulus that is not aggression, non-destructive, that they do not violate them, but at least for the moment gives the illusion of a different reality. " These people are waiting margins, such as prof. Jankovic, and I said, also pointing out that I can rarely get away from it all. This is so because a parent who is an abuser, to protect your child must first rid himself trauma of child abuse that could help their children. The facts show that the parent is often rezignira and feels depressed because he thinks he can not take care of the basic needs of their children. So, one parent was in his own world, often helpless, in her abuser, and kids turn to a third, which entails profound.
As for women, the dangers for those who are exposed to domestic violence are higher than the emotional and mental. Propensity to spontaneous abortions, birth of dead infant and the birth of children boležljivije according to research by the cruel reality of women who are victims of abuse. They are rare, but can occur in cases where women have taken away a life, or at least to try. According to some information out of this situation lies in economic independence. However, the situation would be much simpler if the abuser not to monitor and control a woman's income as is often the case. Achieving financial independence and makes absence from work due to injury, and in similar situations related to violence. According to data from 1998., between a quarter and half of the victims lost their jobs in part because of the violence to which they are exposed. Why? Victims of violence are subject to health problems that greatly hamper performance in the workplace. Nor abusers do not seem to fare any better. The recent survey showed that 48% of abusers have trouble concentrating at work and 42% of them late for work. The Bureau of National Affairs reported that domestic violence costs U.S. employers billions of dollars between three to five billion dollars a year because of the time and lack of productivity, and reports on this subject coming from other sources are saying about the amount of between six billion dollars to thirteen billion dollars a year. Under these conditions, the financial independence does not seem achievable.
Syndrome victims - stay with the abuser
A common question that is associated with violence is why abused person stays with an abuser? Looks like you already mentioned economic dependence plays a crucial role in this issue agree with, and Mr. Vučenović. No, because there's more. It is often the case that abused stay with their abusers because of the "victim syndrome". "There is a part, especially women, who are abused assume the role of victim, and this is due to infirmity or from a desire to protect children, or indeed no place to escape," said Mr. Vučenović adding: "Battered women often subconsciously knows induce specific situations in the family that. causing abusers and are thereby in a position of powerlessness. " So basically, abused are infected with this way of life and do not see any other option or way out. Prof. Jankovic emphasizes that the reason for the stay between the abuser and the victim creates a special relationship, one where the victim gets the message, and eventually begins to accept that she deserves abuse and inappropriate behavior to the abuser's right, and on the other hand has a strong sympathy for the abuser and constantly wants to protect him. "Often times it is difficult to prove the abuse because the victim does not want to admit that the abused and the abuser actively defend," said prof. Jankovic. There is a second case, which is: "The victim wants to protect and preserve the image of the family in the family fear that the children and the whole family will not be marked," said prof. Jankovic.
There are other reasons, of the so-called. love that you feel for the victims of the abuser, fear all the way to low self-esteem and the fact that conditional on the victim's abuser stay. Facts regarding domestic violence were many. But the whole story is one question arises - which could be a solution to the situation regarding domestic violence? Mr. Vučenović believes it would be helpful to young people before marriage, premarital first get in the community, where they will be able to experiment in a variety of situations, especially the bad, because everyone can handle a good situation. Problems in the premarital community could reveal all sorts of things, and according to Mr. Vučenović, a person with self-respect will clearly give the other side at some point know that a lot and will put an end to some situations. "I do not make the conscious decision is crucial because if you do not value yourself everyone else will be blamed," said Mr. Vučenović. And profits.Jankovic offered his solution: "We need such care and such a process of socialization, which will allow people to understand that they have in them aggressive impulse, and to teach them how to recognize the drive, curb and channel in a more positive direction."
Source: Funkymem
WHAT IS VIOLENCE IN THE FAMILY?
Domestic violence is any use of physical force and psychological pressure on the integrity of the person, each
other behavior of a family member that can cause or danger to
cause physical or psychological pain, causing feelings of fear or personal danger or
offended dignity; assault regardless of whether bodily injury or not, verbal
assaults, insults, swearing, name-calling and other forms of severe
harassment, sexual harassment, stalking, and all other forms of harassment, wrongful
isolation or restriction of movement or communication with third parties, or damage
destruction of property or attempting to do so.
What forms of violence are?
Violence can be:
• psychological - refers to the types of abuse in order to gain power and control
over the victim. Includes various prohibitions, threats to the victim or her loved one, insults,
scorn, ridicule, humiliation, blackmail, motion control, insulation and the like.
This type of violence can cause problems in mental health and personality of the victim.
• physical - all forms of physical abuse, which includes slapping,
Hair pulling, pushing, kicking, kicked, or cases, personal injury
different types of weapons, which can result in mild and / or severe bodily injury.
• Sexual - includes physical and mental, sexual violence, and refers to the
sexual harassment, sexual abuse, incest, involuntary sexual
acts, rape, or any sexual act committed against the will of another person.
• Economic - including denial and deprivation of resources,
non-payment of child support and other forms of leaving victims without means of subsistence.
Who can be a victim of domestic violence?
Violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, social status, education, race,
nationality, sexual orientation or financial situation.
The victim can be any person.
If the partner:
• orders and acts as the master,
• threaten you or blackmail you, verbally humiliated, insulted,
• I make all the decisions,
• does not allow access to cash,
• control what you do, where you are going, where and with whom you have been,
• forbids dating and / or do not allow you to have your own circle of friends,
• shows signs of jealousy,
• forcing you to have sex,
• destroy things around the house,
• children abused and threatened to take them away,
• beats you, pulling hair, pushing,
• the blame on you after you beat her,
• After the violence apologizes and tells you he loves you,
• denies the abuser,
You mentioned about the behavior:
• have a sense of helplessness,
• feel constant pressure,
• have sleeping disorders,
• have problems with eating (loss of appetite)
YOU ARE A VICTIM OF VIOLENCE.
If a child:
• often gets beat up for no reason due to which the resulting bruising, unexplained
fractures, cuts or abrasions,
• has a speech disorder or delay in physical development without medical explanation,
• a feeling of pain or itching in the genital area, problems with walking and sitting,
venereal disease, frequent urinary or yeast infections, and sexually transmitted diseases
• have unmet medical needs, the constant lack of supervision, constant hunger,
inappropriate clothing, hygiene,
VICTIM IS VIOLENCE.
The most common form of family violence occurs between spouses. It is well known that in most cases the male abuser, whether beating, raping, or otherwise abusing his wife. But there are also cases where a woman beater. Frequent victims of domestic violence are also the children. The fact that the public is more aware of this problem arises one question-is there all this talk of the benefits of that? In a way, yes, but the solution still lies much deeper.
But it does lead to violence in the family, who are the victims of violence in any form, what is the situation in Croatia regarding domestic abuse, it is best to search for answers from people competent in the subject matter. Therefore, we sought specific information from the experts who are in one way or another familiar with stories related to family violence. One of them is the above-mentioned Mr. Miro Vučenović, president of Blue telephone help lines through which the 15 years of its existence, helped people in over 100 000 calls received. On the other hand, Joseph Jankovic, Professor at the Department of Social Welfare, said that rare person who has not experienced violence and ignorance that is the reason of this fact is that family members are usually trying to hide that fact in order to preserve their ideal image of the family environment, and violence, as well as other side effects, it remains a private matter members. Many abuse victims are not even aware that what it's about because they were convinced that abusers deserve everything that happens to them, or that such behavior is entirely appropriate conditions, the method of communication that is transmitted from generation to generation. But the reality beneath the surface is much harder and deeper and more serious problems.
Year 1974. founded the first shelter for battered women
According to the facts, there is violence in the family for hundreds of years and have contributed to the development of his beliefs about the inferiority of women. In response to this situation, in 1974. established a shelter for abused women and their children, which was an incentive to create a large number of shelters across America. In addition, the 70-ies of the last century, the police response to domestic abuse had a procedure in which violence was reported when questioned on both sides who were involved in the event and encourage people that they occur in such situations. The threat of arrest gave them enough strong likelihood that the situation will not be repeated in the future. Nineties of the last century have led to a shift in the process. The arrest has become an integral part of police protocol for reporting violence. The reason was very simple. A person in prison could not hurt anyone anymore. However, as English law is breathing?Is such a situation in Croatia? Although the public is sensitized and although much has been legally reified in terms of domestic violence, there is still a cruel reality that Mr. Vučenović stresses in a metaphorical way of saying, "What does this all worth it, because the law is what it is for? Act serves to violate . " Although Mr. Vučenović highlights the fact that the law serves to implemented, it raises the question: "Who will implement the law?". According to Mr. Vucenovic still in Zagreb there are those that function as bureaucrats and cases related to violence are treated as nothing but another case in the series in the archive. "The reaction to the situation in Croatia related to domestic violence equals the society we live in and it's hard to expect anything else," says Mr. Vučenović. Croatia is full of various forms of violence, especially if we take into account the increasingly frequent reports of killings that occur in them. It is obvious that these families had various problems before such a tragic end. Viewed from another angle, prof.Jankovic says that there are penalties expected abusers and states: "We are not yet accustomed to report bullies and we have different standards. Males are more frequently reported for the violence committed against women and other family members, which is certainly commendable, but still that is not present in full measure, and the violence that women are largely hidden. Almost always tolerated bullying when abusers are women, while male violence is tolerated less and less, which are much contributed to women's movements, women's NGOs and activists brave "And he added:" Of course it's good and that we should continue to strive. " As for domestic violence in Croatia, according to Mr. Vucenovic situation looks something like this: "When we are at the beginning of 90-track call statistics, it was 0.36% of abused, which is really rare. Means it happened, but very rarely. When we repeated the statistics of the 1994th and 1995., this percentage jumped to 1.60%, and then the number is increased even more, "and adds:" Then we invited the public to give people know that something is happening in society . " Mr. Vučenović stresses that this procedure did not find fertile ground and they get very little response from the journalists sent a warning. It seems that the public has had little understanding for this situation. However, does it now? Mr. Vučenović argue that nothing has changed since then, especially financially, except for the already mentioned fact that legal provisions have been made and that the public is sensitized.
The pursuit of power and control is the foundation of family violence. It is believed that the use of violence by batterers compensate for their own insecurities and shortcomings. Everybody knows that the statement about changing behavior in the future, which comes from the abuser when they are brought to justice deserted hopes. Psychological basis of domestic violence are much deeper and more powerful than words.Some abusers are given the label of mental illness, but the fact is that most of them do not fall into this category. "Abusers among a literate, illiterate, semi-literate up to politicians and intellectuals," says Mr. Vučenović. A similar opinion has prof. Jankovic, who believes that all people are prone to violence, which confirms the words: "Before, it was thought that only mentally ill psychopaths and those who are abused, but studies have shown that this is not so, and that we are all prone to some kind of violence, or active reactive depending on the personalities and circumstances. " But they said the abuser abuse? The reasons are many. Prof. Jankovic said that the research as the most common motivation abuse emphasized the need for precisely controlled. "The desire to display power and the subjugation of others, and establishing themselves as important people, motivates many abusers to violence. Reactive But there is violence, which was thought to be the main form of violence that is female. That women become violent only when responding to" male "active violence. course it's going in the opposite case," said prof. Jankovic, adding: "Sometimes I can even talk about the violence that is shifted. Redirecting the aggression in autoagression. A large number of alcoholics is to tell you from my own experience many years of working with them, looked for a way out of the situation of deprivation, neglect, contempt just in alcohol as alcoholism, according to some interpretations actually prolonged suicide. alcoholism in the run, because of pressure from his wife, that they often serve a great subtle forms of emotional and verbal abuse, to which their husbands had to react to the ban on the area they are stronger, unconsciously sought a way out of damaged partnership. "When it comes to control, maintain control over their victims is rather cruel-abuser realizes her from being burnt up isolated from the outside world to the fact that increases the amount of violence against her as she is showing more signs of separation. According to prof. Jankovic abuser gains control over the victim so that she can not do anything without his permission. "Of course it's difficult, and commands for each violation, which sets the abuser, there is a new aggression and abuse, a new amplification of fear in the victim, and so staggering scale," said prof. Jankovic.
Reports of child abuse every 10 seconds!
According to some data, reports of child abuse are coming every 10 seconds. Eerie is the fact that every third child dies as a result of such violence. Also, the inconvenient truth is that the figure is related to violence against children in the family is constantly increasing. Department of Health and Human Services of America has presented data indicating that the latter in 2003. The 906 000 children were exposed to violence in the family and that is including 1 500 children died as a result of violence. According to data from Colorado (Colorado Association of Family and Children's Agencies), considered the country with the highest rate of domestic violence in the area, in 2005. approximately 30 000 children were abused, and it equally boys and girls. Further data have pointed to an uncomfortable reality. Every year in Colorado as a result of violence dies twenty children. Of these, 75% under the age of 4 years, the most common injuries are those physical and sexual in nature. According to Mr. Vucenovic often the case that the Blue Phone occur grandmother who see their grandchildren in one way or another, abused, and adds: "Grandparents occur because they want to protect their grandchildren from their own children. Tells you to something? "
Frightening is the fact that the reports of sexual abuse of children in a substantial increase. Incest in families are becoming more common reality regardless of income, profession, religion or race. Statistics clearly show this fact. According to statistics, a third of all the world's children are sexually abused before age 18 was years. This data is translated into percentages given are shockingly information. Of the total number of children in the world are sexually abused 40% of girls and 30% boys. To make matters worse, the most common age of children abused in this way is under 7 years of age. The most common sexual abusers are family members or someone who is very close with his family. In New York, the common situation of finding the dead bodies of children who had been victims of physical and sexual violence, and the authorities often remain unidentified. The consequences of this behavior has on children are substantial.Children who have been exposed to sexual violence have a lower IQ and increased risk of depression, a tendency to murder and drug problems. However, although this man was responsible for the sexual abuse, it is surprising that says that there is a rise of women as sexual abusers. Approximately 5% of abusers in this, sex, area of the right woman! Mr. Vučenović stresses that occur in a small percentage of people who are personally abused. "More often call people who want to help abused," says Mr. Vučenović, and continues: "It's about friends, neighbors and the like. This is typical, because the abused often do not have the courage to call."
Abuse on children can leave the scary consequences. As the professor himself. Jankovic said, they are numerous and varied. Often there are consequences associated with behavioral disorders, mental disorders and psychosocial functioning of the child, says prof. Jankovic, saying harsh truth: "A child is abused not only basic needs are not met, it is permanently carried out an attack on his personality, mental and somatic health. Among the basic needs remain unsatisfied love as a basic necessity, which prevents non-compliance with the normal growth and development of the child, which is not a platitude. really need a man would love to be able to grow and develop normally. abused child who has that need, as well as several others, such as those for quality communication, intimacy, self-assertion, and others, not satisfied. ' The need for communication between parents and children, which is based solely on the abuse, children are not given too much and prof. Jankovic accordingly asks the question: "What kind of message a child from such a mode of communication can take?" Communication through abuse leaves an extremely grave consequences prof.Jankovic explained in simple words: "Beatings, insults, negative feedback led to the child itself creates a negative image, which prevents the establishment of basic security, self-confidence, develop quality adjustments in the family, community, peers, the future workplace ... . " As Professor. Jankovic said: "People do their own children horrible things very often because they do not love their children, as a psychopathic oriented, addicted or mentally ill but simply because they are not prepared for parenthood and tend abused because they themselves were abused and Now the violence carried on. "
Children abused by parents!
Information related to the abuse of children against parents sound impossible. But when you take into account that this is about adults, from my 40 years and over, who often physically abused by his father and mother, then the question arises-how parents react to this situation? According to Mr. Vucenovic majority of these people are of 60-70 years, and sometimes weep with envy when you call Blue Phone and stresses: "There is a very meaningful humans. It's neither bad nor grumpy people, and very often they do not believe themselves to be raised these children. For them it is extremely difficult realization. " Such parents can not believe that, not only raised, but these children were born, says Mr. Vučenović. Interesting information is that this form of abuse often is a child that your parents gave absolutely everything from housing, cars and other things they need and that the children, now adults, have everything. So, financially speaking, there is no basis for abuse.
But there is another form of this type of abuse that is associated with the younger children. According to prof. Jankovic to this form of violence comes just as the parents are not prepared for their parenting skills and lacking even the most basic information about how to raise their children, and among other things, for example do not set rules, limits or does not hold and thus sending the message that the child can get everything he wants. "If a parent does not know that his leniency will not help a child to be better, to become a stable, responsible, and productive adults, but just the opposite, it will happen to a child, even when he grows up and is expected to care for parents, search of them more and more, because they do not know the rules. Such a child sees the world and relate to it totally unrealistic, is convinced that he is permissive, "said prof. Jankovic, adding: "The requirements of the child getting bigger and at the same time they want to fulfill immediately, and at one point the parents are no longer able to fulfill all that is required of them, which then inevitably leads to aggression nezajažljivog offspring." Prof. Jankovic said that there are times when a child one day become stronger and to some extent independently, and then start back there from where aggression before it received, particularly happens often during adolescence crisis. It should be noted that for such behavior may be responsible psychoactive substances and the need for money to be acquired by such means, and what I prof. Jankovic holds one of the causes of ill-treatment of parents. Although all the above causes real, prof. Jankovic still the greatest responsibility on the quality of parenting that stresses the following words: "If the parents are of good quality and they know how to raise children and provide them with quality family environment with a lot of warmth, love, communication, and policies, and also understand the language of children and reasonably fit to their needs, then there will be problems. Otherwise they lack these factors returns in the form of aggression toward their children themselves at a time when they are most vulnerable ", adding:" It's about an unhappy child, because there are no bad kids. only accidents seem evil children, and most of the disaster comes from incompetent parents. "
Men do not recognize violence for fear of stigmatization
Statistically speaking, as far as abuse of women, about 80% of cases of abuse is abuse of men over women, says Mr. Vučenović and stresses that some times difficult to accept the fact that a young person of 20 years or so, that appear to help the Blue phone with one or two children and have no secure existence but depend on a man financially and housing and living in a small community. This is a situation with very little optimism, because in such environments is hard to find a job that is in some way out. "These women are in the Blue phone are out," said Vučenović, and continues: "Our facilities are really limited and often have nowhere to classify someone and give financial support to those people, because we do not have any. We are on the margins of society, and some way to the vicious circle. " The biggest, and most common, the problem of abuse of women is that they have no place to go, in addition, they have several children. Is there a way out? "Often the only way to stop the abuse of the abused person leaves the connection or relationship that is being abused," said prof. Jankovic. Statistics tell their own, but Mr. Vučenović highlights the fact that women are more willing to call and get help. On the other hand, Professor. Jankovic said statistical data from the early 21st century, which suggests that about 68% of reported violence perpetrated by men, and the remaining 32% of the perpetrators were women. But the professor. Jankovic highlights the need to take into account that men do not report the violence which is in favor of greater tolerance already mentioned the situation in connection with the violence of women against men. Global research and give a whole new different picture. As Professor. Jankovic said she deplored the fact that the violence exercised by men and women are equal, that each party has a share of 50%.
In order to kill the myth of the man as the abuser in the family, it should be noted that sometimes men are victims of abuse, as is evident from the above statistics. Violence against men is ignored because many sounds funny. According to Dr. Fieberta Martin (University of California) who investigated the physical violence of women against men, in a sample of 1000 women in the 300 is physically abused by their partners. Even more interesting is the fact that speaks to the violence prone women in their twenties, and furthermore, as the years go by, and still the thirties, the rate of violence among women is much lower. The data that is received Slavica Blažeka Kokorić in your topic for a PhD in which he explored the relationships between young people in their relationships and transmission patterns of behavior from the family, talking to the girls more aggressive than their counterparts. It is also interesting observation, though perhaps logical, in which prof. Jankovic said that women are more adept at emotional, psychological and verbal violence as opposed to men who are more physical violence, and continues: "For 1975. First studies have shown that women are in relationships just as much physically, emotionally and verbally violent as men. 'This kind of violence, there is very little information, among other things, for the reason that men are afraid of losing their masculinity and be declared a wimp. As Mr. Vučenović says: "Men are not yet ready to talk about their problems." Men is extremely hard to admit that they're being beaten, says Mr. Vučenović, however that such situations tend to be quite ruthless. The reason why men do not seek professional help is associated exclusively with the fear of stigmatization. Moreover, as Mr. Vučenović claims, it should be noted that women are taking leadership roles in groups and take on the role of men and become arrogant, and once he was in position to men. According to Mr. Vucenovic, the men are expected to behave in a pattern, to be macho dudes in line with all the other prejudices that go with the men, and now they're suddenly assaulted by women. "We must have the courage to admit something like the fact that your wife or daughter abuse," says Mr. Vučenović. According to prof. Jankovic and women throughout the story they want to save their reputation. But the professor. Jankovic emphasizes that the general climate in Croatia is such that men as abusers, and those women who need to be protected. Although the violence against men is often ridiculed, many argue for the fact that violence against men to be taken seriously. It should be borne in mind that violence is not a gender thing, but it is an issue related with all people. "It is a question of the human species" holds BA. Jankovic, "and the sooner people realize this and begin to deal with this through a process of socialization, upbringing, education and control system, the sooner this problem will be reduced to a sustainable level."
Harassment creates a pattern of behavior in children
The constant feeling of fear, because of exposure to threats in the environment in which they live, the reality is the victim of domestic violence. Dangers that victims exhibit associated with the acceptance of abuse as normal behavior. Children are the most critical group in this case, just because she copied the behavior of their parents. This sometimes leads to the risk of a new generation of abusers. "One of the consequences of child abuse is intergenerational transmission of abuse, because they are often the abusers in their own families and they were themselves abused as children in their families, and their parents are also in this form and its behavior is thus passed on from generation to generation as a folk song, "said prof.Jankovic. According to prof. Jankovic, children believe that the behavior seen in quite a normal family, and this kind of behavior, that is. violence, carried in your relationships, your family and your parental role.Concise way of saying: "People no one teaches you how to play any partner any parental role and pattern transfer, the role of the script, from their families, who are often totally wrong wording, which eventually leads to violent situations in the new family," said prof. Jankovic. Abuse is behavior that affects the entire life of family members exposed to violence. Consequences can be extremely serious and extremely deep scars. When asked how the victims feel, the answer is pretty sharp - a way of thinking, relationships with people, a sense of self-worth, daily activities and general functioning of the victims was extremely disturbed. PTSD, anxiety, depression and flashbacks are everyday victims of violence. To live with a constant sense of fear, nightmares and sleep problems is not pleasant, but for the victims of violence such conditions are a daily reality.
The scars that domestic violence has on children in some cases can be so powerful that it completely separated from the opportunity to learn social skills that they will need for life. One should take into account that it was the childhood stage of life in which these skills are learned, and that abused children often avoid contact with other people. According to prof. Jankovic, the abused child will have a negative self-image, self-esteem will be low it will be aggressive, because they know that there are different forms of operation, adding: "These children will come into conflict with everyone and in the end will often become abusers themselves , asocial, antisocial people so addicted and because she is seeking any stimulus that is not aggression, non-destructive, that they do not violate them, but at least for the moment gives the illusion of a different reality. " These people are waiting margins, such as prof. Jankovic, and I said, also pointing out that I can rarely get away from it all. This is so because a parent who is an abuser, to protect your child must first rid himself trauma of child abuse that could help their children. The facts show that the parent is often rezignira and feels depressed because he thinks he can not take care of the basic needs of their children. So, one parent was in his own world, often helpless, in her abuser, and kids turn to a third, which entails profound.
As for women, the dangers for those who are exposed to domestic violence are higher than the emotional and mental. Propensity to spontaneous abortions, birth of dead infant and the birth of children boležljivije according to research by the cruel reality of women who are victims of abuse. They are rare, but can occur in cases where women have taken away a life, or at least to try. According to some information out of this situation lies in economic independence. However, the situation would be much simpler if the abuser not to monitor and control a woman's income as is often the case. Achieving financial independence and makes absence from work due to injury, and in similar situations related to violence. According to data from 1998., between a quarter and half of the victims lost their jobs in part because of the violence to which they are exposed. Why? Victims of violence are subject to health problems that greatly hamper performance in the workplace. Nor abusers do not seem to fare any better. The recent survey showed that 48% of abusers have trouble concentrating at work and 42% of them late for work. The Bureau of National Affairs reported that domestic violence costs U.S. employers billions of dollars between three to five billion dollars a year because of the time and lack of productivity, and reports on this subject coming from other sources are saying about the amount of between six billion dollars to thirteen billion dollars a year. Under these conditions, the financial independence does not seem achievable.
Syndrome victims - stay with the abuser
A common question that is associated with violence is why abused person stays with an abuser? Looks like you already mentioned economic dependence plays a crucial role in this issue agree with, and Mr. Vučenović. No, because there's more. It is often the case that abused stay with their abusers because of the "victim syndrome". "There is a part, especially women, who are abused assume the role of victim, and this is due to infirmity or from a desire to protect children, or indeed no place to escape," said Mr. Vučenović adding: "Battered women often subconsciously knows induce specific situations in the family that. causing abusers and are thereby in a position of powerlessness. " So basically, abused are infected with this way of life and do not see any other option or way out. Prof. Jankovic emphasizes that the reason for the stay between the abuser and the victim creates a special relationship, one where the victim gets the message, and eventually begins to accept that she deserves abuse and inappropriate behavior to the abuser's right, and on the other hand has a strong sympathy for the abuser and constantly wants to protect him. "Often times it is difficult to prove the abuse because the victim does not want to admit that the abused and the abuser actively defend," said prof. Jankovic. There is a second case, which is: "The victim wants to protect and preserve the image of the family in the family fear that the children and the whole family will not be marked," said prof. Jankovic.
There are other reasons, of the so-called. love that you feel for the victims of the abuser, fear all the way to low self-esteem and the fact that conditional on the victim's abuser stay. Facts regarding domestic violence were many. But the whole story is one question arises - which could be a solution to the situation regarding domestic violence? Mr. Vučenović believes it would be helpful to young people before marriage, premarital first get in the community, where they will be able to experiment in a variety of situations, especially the bad, because everyone can handle a good situation. Problems in the premarital community could reveal all sorts of things, and according to Mr. Vučenović, a person with self-respect will clearly give the other side at some point know that a lot and will put an end to some situations. "I do not make the conscious decision is crucial because if you do not value yourself everyone else will be blamed," said Mr. Vučenović. And profits.Jankovic offered his solution: "We need such care and such a process of socialization, which will allow people to understand that they have in them aggressive impulse, and to teach them how to recognize the drive, curb and channel in a more positive direction."
Source: Funkymem
WHAT IS VIOLENCE IN THE FAMILY?
Domestic violence is any use of physical force and psychological pressure on the integrity of the person, each
other behavior of a family member that can cause or danger to
cause physical or psychological pain, causing feelings of fear or personal danger or
offended dignity; assault regardless of whether bodily injury or not, verbal
assaults, insults, swearing, name-calling and other forms of severe
harassment, sexual harassment, stalking, and all other forms of harassment, wrongful
isolation or restriction of movement or communication with third parties, or damage
destruction of property or attempting to do so.
What forms of violence are?
Violence can be:
• psychological - refers to the types of abuse in order to gain power and control
over the victim. Includes various prohibitions, threats to the victim or her loved one, insults,
scorn, ridicule, humiliation, blackmail, motion control, insulation and the like.
This type of violence can cause problems in mental health and personality of the victim.
• physical - all forms of physical abuse, which includes slapping,
Hair pulling, pushing, kicking, kicked, or cases, personal injury
different types of weapons, which can result in mild and / or severe bodily injury.
• Sexual - includes physical and mental, sexual violence, and refers to the
sexual harassment, sexual abuse, incest, involuntary sexual
acts, rape, or any sexual act committed against the will of another person.
• Economic - including denial and deprivation of resources,
non-payment of child support and other forms of leaving victims without means of subsistence.
Who can be a victim of domestic violence?
Violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, social status, education, race,
nationality, sexual orientation or financial situation.
The victim can be any person.
If the partner:
• orders and acts as the master,
• threaten you or blackmail you, verbally humiliated, insulted,
• I make all the decisions,
• does not allow access to cash,
• control what you do, where you are going, where and with whom you have been,
• forbids dating and / or do not allow you to have your own circle of friends,
• shows signs of jealousy,
• forcing you to have sex,
• destroy things around the house,
• children abused and threatened to take them away,
• beats you, pulling hair, pushing,
• the blame on you after you beat her,
• After the violence apologizes and tells you he loves you,
• denies the abuser,
You mentioned about the behavior:
• have a sense of helplessness,
• feel constant pressure,
• have sleeping disorders,
• have problems with eating (loss of appetite)
YOU ARE A VICTIM OF VIOLENCE.
If a child:
• often gets beat up for no reason due to which the resulting bruising, unexplained
fractures, cuts or abrasions,
• has a speech disorder or delay in physical development without medical explanation,
• a feeling of pain or itching in the genital area, problems with walking and sitting,
venereal disease, frequent urinary or yeast infections, and sexually transmitted diseases
• have unmet medical needs, the constant lack of supervision, constant hunger,
inappropriate clothing, hygiene,
VICTIM IS VIOLENCE.
